Just the other day I was teasing a friend of mine. This guy must be one of the most eligible bachelors around. He towers over 6 feet and is a hulk of a man. The typical tall dark and handsome character most women want, yet still single. Admittedly he is a shy type and would scarcely ever initiate a conversation with a girl.
I asked him about a couple of young ladies and his response was rather interesting.
“They are not wife material.”
This response was not something we would ever tell women. But it is the kind of honest “man-talk” we do have among ourselves.
You may or may not know that men categorize women. The minute a man lays eyes on you he makes subconscious decisions about you.
Obviously he checks out your looks and figure and secretly decides if you will be a good sexual catch. He then assesses the probability of being able to “score” if he tries. Or he may decide that you do not attract him in that way. So you may become a casual friend or just another human in the mass of people he meets every day.
However if you attract him in any way, shape or form, he will try to interact with you to help him decide 2 things
- Would you be a another sexual conquest or
- Are you “wife material”?
What does a man mean when he uses the term “wife material.”
- He is generally thinking about whether or not this woman is more than just a pretty face.
- Can she make life with him, facing the ups and downs; in and outs of life?
- Would he be proud to introduce her to his friends and family?
- Will she be kind and nurturing to him, yet challenge help him to grow and stretch in tactful and sensitive way?
- In this post-modern world will she allow him provide and protect her or is she just after a sperm donor?
- Will she be a good mother to his children?
- Can she accept that he has hidden weakness and fears, and not think him less of a man when she see his faults?
While this is not an exhaustive list of what men think about, you should seriously evaluate if you are “wife material” because you are being constantly judged against these hidden standards.
If your are stuck in a relationship that doesn’t seem to be going anywhere, your partner may not consider you to be “wife material”, so he is stalling. There are effective things you can do to change the situation but more on that another time.
Let’s face it. We want a virtuous girl, too. Why can’t we be honest and tell the truth. To be wife material she has to be a good girl. We don’t want to marry a slut or anyone who let’s herself be picked up in a bar.
“In this post-modern world will she allow him provide and protect her or is she just after a sperm donor?” this point doesn’t make any sense…
It seems to me that some men want a “virtuous” girl, but only after he’s been around with lots of women he feels are less than virtuous. In short, the man is a hypocrite and a dog when he does that. If he wants a virtuous woman, he should be ready, willing and able to be a virtuous man. Not someone who is selfish and wants to have their cake and eat it. I’d rather stay single than wind up with someone like that. They’re not doing virtuous women any favors.
The writer is right on point here. Ladies you better know, Yes we do sleep with the ”less virtuous women” we come across. A guy will date a girl & sleep with her even though he knows only too well that she’s not “virtuous enough to make a wife”….yet we still seek out the virtuous woman who doesn’t sleep around too much, miss goody-two-shoes to put a ring on her finger. Sounds selfish but we’re men. Its what we do.