How can you tell if you boyfriend is really into you? Is he playing games, messing around, taking you for a ride or does he really genuinely love you?
Here are 12 ways to tell if your boyfriend really loves you or is “just not into you”:
- He would warmly, admiringly and longingly look into your eyes, face and body from time to time.
- He would go out of his way to do little things to bring a smile on your face and make you feel happy (anything from sticking a note in your bag, buying a funny little toy or turning up on your door steps when you least expect him to).
- He would be always talking about you to his friends and family or anyone who would care to listen. Interestingly he would make you to be larger than life — Gods gift to the earth. These people will mention that they have heard about you when they meet you.
- He would want to introduce you and show you off to his friends, family and the whole world — you would be like his little trophy.
- He would always want to be with you or around you and hardly want to leave when its time for him to go.
- He hates it when people talk negatively about you and would defend you to the point of physically fighting to defend your reputation (hopefully it never comes to this. Don’t always depend on this as a proof of love).
- He avoids hurting you and if he unwittingly hurts you he apologises profusely and attempt never to let it happen again.
- Comments on how lucky he is to get a girl like you in his life.
- Compliments the way you look, the things you do and the skill/talents you display.
- Wants the best for you and encourages you to grow and develop so that you can become the best you can be.
- He is not afraid to challenge you when you are wrong or doing something that isn’t right.
- He calls, text, IM and want to meeting up with you as regularly as he can.
Ps. I just remember a couple more
- He wants know (in direct and discreet ways) what you think about him, how he looks and what he does.
- He seeks your advice and suggestions on things he is doing and decisions he wants to make.
- He takes your advice/suggestions and implements them.
- He is polite to your friends and respects your parents.
My boyfriend and I have been together since June 6th, 2011… The past few weeks he has been saying he is busy and can’t han out… He is always texting other girls and is hidding things from me… I feel like i am losing him and that he doesn’t want to be with me anymore, he is also always telling other people that it’s non of their business or is telling them that we are not together when they ask if we are dating… Is he with somebody else? Is someone replacing me in his hear?? Is he over me??? How can I tell if he really loves me and want to be with me or not???? Please help me…
Yes if a man love you he will do every thing in his power to make you happy.alway try to please you
I have a bouyfriend who does all of the above mentioned , I really love him so much
I’m dating with a guy called Tebogo and I’d really want to know if he loves me,I met with his family and they loved me the problem is dose he love me?I mean he found me with another guy and soon after I broke up with the guy he updated our relationship status on facebook….is that love??and the other thing is he calls almost every girl on his facebook baby and all those kind of names that I think he should be calling me with!!
my boyfriends all that i guess he the one god planed out for me
My boyfriend and I don’t leave in the same area, I went to visit him last week because I missed him and he missed me to(how do I know that?) That’s because he calls me everyday to say good morning and good night, to tell me how much he misses me and how much he loves me. Well as I was saying I went there last week we had fun with each other and then out of the blue he wanted me to go inside his house while he’s whole family was there. I just told him I couldn’t because I was too scared to do so, he begged and begged but I didn’t change my mind. Was I wrong by turning him down? Does that show me that he loves me? I don’t know what to think
Well I’m dating a guy and I don’t know if he loves me or not, he’s so hard to read but I’m his actually first committed relationship but I always am curious if he talks about me to everyone. I just find it hard to ask him, I don’t want to feel possessive or dominant over asking that since we have a mutual relationship with one another. But there are times when he seems as though after we do something he might just dump me. I don’t know what to do I am rather confused
Hi kacey,
It seems as though that he may be backing out of the relationship silently.
While this may be painful DO NOT
1. Plead with him
2. Throw a angry fit
3. Fling yourself on him
As hard as it seems it may be best to release him and back off for a while. Give him some space
The best thing to do with the time is to focus on improving yourself and even start talking with other possible suitors.
Hilton
My boyfriend dosnt txt me hes always to busy i dont kno if be still love me but weve been going out since September2nd,2011is he cheating on me or is be really busy
Okay uhm when me an my boyfriend were not dating & he was dating somebody else, he kept saying that he loved me even though we wernt dating and he was dating another girl. Now we are together, but how do I know if he isint telling another girl that he loves her t0o? Like he was telling me? Im scared & i dont want to lose him, what should i do? :/
i have a boyfriend that does all of the above mentioned.i love him soooo much……………….
Hi Jamilah
I have to inform you that because of what you have described your boyfriend (or exboyfriend) is not really into you. You will have to face the reality and move on.
Hilton
Hi Brittney.
I fully understand your position of not fully trusting him because of your experience. You would really never know what he is telling other girls unless you spy on him and I don’t think it is worth it to do so.
If commitment and honesty are really important to you, let him know how you feel about it. Be prepared to take action if you find out that he is cheating
my boyfriend and i have been together for 7 months, he never tells me how he feels, we don’t see each other in the week because we live apart, i don’t drive and we work in different towns. he responds to my texts but rarely if ever texts me first and only calls if i ask him to, i’ve spoken to him about this but nothing has changed i still feel like i don’t exist for him during the week.
wen we’re together it’s great except he can go very quiet but says this is just how he is. emotionally he’s very undemonstrative and this leaves me feeling like i’m running after him all the time, making all the effort.i’m always making plans for us for things to do but he doesn’t seem very interested. when i tell him how i feel, like mention a romantic song that reminds me of him his response makes me feel like i wish i’d never said anything. it’s like ‘oh thats sweet.’ and thats it.
I do get depressed about it and i’ve considered ending it because I worry I’m too needy for him. But I do love him and mostly it’s great when we’re together. I’d just like to feel a bit more reassured.
Me and my boyfriend have been together 2years, I feel really jealous and insecure, we are from two different cultures but I’m definately sure he hasn’t cheated on me yet. Things got too complicated recently, i hacked in to his account, I found Facebook message a bit flirtatious, but his reply was that it’s his friend from years ago, he complimented the girl that she is looking great and invited her on a night out with his friend and complimented another girl voluntarily about her looks, what does this mean? I also found him in bed with another girl but with seperate blankets n fully dressed after he was drunk. He went in this bed because it was empty. He explained everything and apologised sincerely for everything and told me he loves me and will never cheat on me and promised he will never get drunk again, I confronted him about the Facebook messages and he said I shouldn’t be stalking on him and he now deleted his Facebook for me, it was not solid evidence to be honest that he cheated, he said that we both need to change some of the things . He said how beautiful I am and his never had someone like me before who cares and puts so much effort in our relationship, he wants to move in with me since few months ago but I said no! Even after we sorted things I left a letter telling him that I’m leaving him and that his got a month to think what he wants? And if he wants to be with me for sure then to meet me in the airport in April and not to contact me before that and if he doesn’t then I will know that it’s over. What do you think about this situation? Am I doing the right thing? Are his messages on Facebook a sign of him going to cheat? Does he love me? Thank you
ive been with my partner 5years but the last year ive felt so depressed i have no one to talk to he doesnt talk to me when i tell him how i feel, he goes football tues n sat and snooker on a friday after work and goes on nights out with the lads and dont want me there the only time he wants to no me is when he wants sex i dont no what to do , does he love me or not he says he does ?!?! is he cheating on me he says he isnt … i dont no what to think i feel so alone
Well I wasin in love with this guy for 5years and then gave up and got something betterbut how do I now if he feels the sameway well does he help me ……………
Hi Leanne,
Unfortunately I have to tell you he is not into you and is only using you tp satisfy his sexual needs.
Hilton
I am stuck in the middle of my relationship. My boyfriend only recently broke up with his ex but his family doesn’t know that he is over this other girl. I love him and I want this to last how ever there is also another girl who flirts with him and all this stuff. He doesn’t like either of the other girls and tell me that. At school all his friends say that we make the perfect couple and I love him for that. I really want to make this last and I am afraid if I make one bad mistake it might possibly be the end of something that we both wanted. All through out class we both cannot stop looking at each other and can’t help it to smile and wink and then after school he doesn’t say good bye all any of this stuff to me. Is he ashamed of me and is it bad to be seen with me. I love him and I really want this to last…
hey, i m paulla my boy friend has not called me since 8 march when i called his sis said he is not at home i dont know is he serious wid me or not?
Hey my boyfriend is recently split from his soon to be ex wife. We ended up getting pregnant. At first he did really nice things for me. But now it seems like he is always irritated at me. And only wants to play video games and doesn’t talk to me as much. What do I do? Please help.
My boyfriend and I have been off and on since 2008 in 2009 I moved in with him temporarily because he said he was not in love with me but i was in love with him so i lived there about 9 months then got my own place we stayed friends and he told me to go on with my life and date other people so that is what i did i have a lot of emotional problems and he couldnt handle it but i have worked a lot of my emotional problems out and have become stable and i started dating other guys he realized he really does love me i hope we are now living together again and he is very supportive to me he is my best friend but in the back of my mind i always wonder is he really in love with me or not how do i know? i once asked him and he said yes but i was reading an article the other day and a woman wrote if you have to ask then more than likely he doesnt he isnt an affectionate man and i accept him for that but he is right here for me if i ever need anything he wants the best for me he encourages me which helps me to stay stable isnt that love i would do the same thing for him we take of each other in different ways can you tell me what you think? thank you
Well, I have been dating this guy for the past 4 months, and we love each other a lot. He calls me every single night before I go to sleep, and every single morning when he wakes up. He tells me that I’m beautiful, that he loves me more than anything in the world, he feels so special and lucky to have me and I’m his everything. He’s tells me that he loves me every single time we get off the phone. Unfortunately, about a month ago, I had a friend at work, that was a little younger than me, and talked to me ALL THE TIME, I honestly thought that he liked me; well that friend told me that my boyfriend had admitted to him that I wasn’t the only female he was “seeing.” When I asked my boyfriend about what I was told, he got mad and kept asking me why I would ask him something like that? And who told me that? Then, when I tried to walk away, he wouldn’t let me, and kept saying that he wanted to find out what happened and where I got all of this from. When he saw that I started to cry, he got even more upset and said that he can’t believe that something like this is tearing us apart. Why would I listen to other people? He said that he didn’t feel comfortable talking about topics like that, and I should know that he would never ever even think about hurting me. I could not get this out of my head; the fact that I loved this guy so much, and he loved me, but he would do something so stupid to hurt me. A couple days later, I did end things with him, and he was upset, and he kept wanting to know the reason as to why I was ending it. And I told him that I felt like I couldn’t trust him. About a week later, I had really thought about it, and I guess you could say I forgave him. He kept telling me that I should know that he would never hurt me. He hasn’t changed since we’ve starting dating though – which is good. He’s been the same, sweet, amazing guy that I love. Still calls me every night and morning. But my problem is that he is a flirt. If a girl flirts with him, he will flirt back, but he might not know it.. I don’t know.. There is this one girl that works with me (We all work together. – Me, My Friend, My Boyfriend, and the girl that I was told he was cheating on me with.) and they are always flirting – but she doesn’t know that were dating. He does flirt back – but not too much because we are both the jealous type, and we do get mad with each other when we see flirting. He knows that I don’t like the girl, but he doesn’t really do anything..
Does he love me? Really love me? And could this relationship last? Am I the only one or is he “playing me?”
Hi I’m daten this guy we’ve been together since June 24th 2011. Then I got pregnant and then I had our son the whole time we’ve been together he’s been talkin to other girls and stuff but now he wants to get married wat do I do? How do Ik if he really loves me or if he’s with me bc of our son?
I been with my boyfriend for two years. He was having family problems. his father put him out. I felt bad and invited him to mobe into my home. We was getting along really good. But things changed. Don’t spend much time together because I am at work. when I come home He rarely home. He is in brooklyn with his family. I understand that family is inportant. I respect that. But when he around his family his personality changes. He treats and talk to me really bad. I have done a lot for this man and and I given him alot. I recall when nobody was there for him not even his family. I was the only one in his corner. I feel like I am losing him. when it comed to his family its screw me and family comes first. I know I’m not his family just a girlfriend. Don’t I deserve to be treated and appreciated by him. I really need your input on this situation.
I been with my boyfriend for two years. He was having family problems. his father put him out. I felt bad and invited him to move into my home. We was getting along really good. But things changed. we don’t spend much time together because I am at work. when I come home He rarely home. He is in brooklyn with his family. I understand that family is important. I respect that. But when he around his family his personality changes. He treats and talk to me really bad. I have done a lot for this man and and I given him alot. I recall when nobody was there for him not even his family. I was the only one in his corner. I feel like I am losing him. when it comes to his family its screw me and family comes first. I know I’m not his family just a girlfriend. Don’t I deserve to be treated and appreciated by him. I really need your input on this situation.
i love my bf he is so awesome but he can get a little annoying conserding we are 11 and 12 lol but he is the best and i love him with all my heart he does everything for me and with me and always ants to give me a hug lol i love him.
Hi Jodi,
If both of you are mutually supporting each other then thats a very good sign. Maybe you should think about where you want the relationship to go next and find out what he has in mind for the relationship. This will give you some idea on what steps to take next.
H
I have a boyfriend who does 11 of the 12 things you said. I really love him a lot, but I get the feeling from time to time that he rather spend time with his friends than with me. Should I just accept it and stop making a big deal about it or should I say something?
Hi Yolandi,
Yep you need to give him some space to be with his mates. One of the things that really scare men is loss of freedom and giving up their friends.
H
My boyfriend and I have been going out since December 5 2011 h always says he drinks and that he has two kids btw he is only 15 he is always saying how people in his family are always dieing and how he gets into fights everyday in like January he claimed I wa his true live and that he wanted to get married and stay together forever he said how he wanted to build a house when he got older so I asked who r u gonna live in it with and he was like idk who ever I marry I haven’t even thought about marrying anyone yet is all of this lies he Idk what to believe anymore
Hey, I don’t know if you still help people on here but I thought I’d give it a go. I am 13 almost 14, he’s 14 btw.
So it all started when my close friend was dating his(Bill’s) identical twin (Hayden) and she found out Bill liked me. I thought nothing of it because A.I thought it was a crush and B. we never talked because he’s in the other year half therefor we have no lessons together and he’s not the bravest of guys. Then I don’t remember why – but he spoke to me on facebook and he was apologising for fancying me! I said that it’s fine etc and then we talked on fb ever since but the convo’s have been sorta awkward. So, then the saturday after my friend was meeting up with Hayden and asked if I would come so that I could get to know Bill. So in the end I did go but me and Bill didn’t talk at all, well we spoke a little bit more towards the end. But then I had to go and that was that – I did have a great time though, and the whole time my friend kept on saying that he really liked me. Then we kept on talking but not really interesting convo’s, if that makes sense – like we’d say how we were, what we were doing, somehow talk about films, then sometimes play truth or dare (all on facebook never face to face)
Then he asked me out and I said ‘I’d think about it’, I thought about it for 2weeks! I know it’s harsh to keep a guy hanging but I couldn’t decide what to do, and in the end I said yes. Afterthat he actually came up to me at school and spoke to me even though it was in the last week of term. He then asked me on facebook how long I wanted us too last. I said ‘dunno, longer than a week ;)’ and he says ‘I hope we last weeks and weeks more’. Then he told me he loved me etc, then later he asked when I would like to kiss. Now most people think this is nothing, but tbh Bill is my first proper bf and he will be my first kiss, so I am petrified. But in a way I want to get it over and done with in the hope that we will be closer to each other afterwards…
He doesn’t know I haven’t kissed yet, but he knows I haven’t snogged.
So anyway, after we had been going out for a week – he messaged me on facebook saying ‘We have lasted a week 🙂 and hopefully we will last weeks and weeks more because I don’t want to loose you’
Now, I am not sure whether to believe him or not because A. He has had quite a few gf’s
B. He told me over facebook
Btw we only hug – we don’t hold hands or anything.
Erm, well that’s the main story…so if you could help in anyway or give me tips, and yer we’re both shy.
My boyfriend and I have been together over a year now and he says he loves me and I do believe him but he never talks to me online, he never rings me, he never arranges to go out with me and when I arrange to go out with him, he’ll agree then contact me the next morning saying he’s either going to be late or isn’t coming at all because his parents want him to go out with them. I can’t loose him! What do I do?! Please help me xxxx Ps: I have mentioned the lateness and stuff to him over three times and it did get better but mow we’re back to stage one..
OK… this has gone far enough my bestie’s bf keeps checkin me out and I don’t know how to tell her because she’s always in denial! He likes me and he’s using her to get to me. I read these to see if he does these to her and he just does them to me!!!!!! She thinks he’s heaven to her but he’s just another stupid boy. I wish it could stop I hate this and I don’t like him. I need help because I don’t know how to tell her in a way she’ll understand, and not just think I’m tring to steal her bf!
🙁
Hi amazement,
Maybe you can start by telling him that if he doesn’t stop you will let his GF know what’s going on. if he texts, emails or writes letters to you these can be used as evidence of what he is doing
H
Hi Megan,
Sorry to burst your bubble but all the things you mentioned are evidence that he is not that into you. Although it is a hard pill to swallow one of the best ways to deal with this it to get on with your life and with draw from him.
H
My boyfriend hangs with me every saterday or day he has to himself, but today we were supposed to hang out and he went out of town. I called him at 9 and his sister picked up and said he won’t be home till 2. I called back at 2 and he still wasnt home. He finally called at 5:30 and said he was “too drunk” to come over. What do i do if he does it again?
Hi Shelby,
First you need to have a very serious (but not angry) talk with him about how you feel about the incident. Let him know that you love him but don’t like that type of behaviour. You have to be clear about your standards and expectations of him.
If he does it again, show him that you are serious by telling him you cannot handle that behaviour and you need some space to think about it. After a few days of total break let him know what you are only willing to continue the relationship if he tells you what he is going to do about it.
Hope that helps
So i tryed to talk to him but he wasnt listening. So i got mad and walked all the way home. He called me like 10 times during my walk and when i got home he came over and wanted to talk and got mad when i tryed to reason with him about hanging out more. He left and didnt called me til this morning and asked to come over tomorrow. Do you think he’s mad still?
Me and my boyfriend Chris has been dating for 4 months but we have been talking as friends for about 4years. He is not over his ex and I know this. Every since we started dating we havent went on a date or haven’t done anything romantic. I don’t think he wants to be with me because he is always talking about his ex. Then I have his Facebook password and I be checking his messeges from her. And he always tells her how he still loves her and how he wants to be with her and how he misses her. Also how he want to do all these things for her like spoil her taking her out and buying her things. He never told me any of these things. I love him so much and I have been wanting to be with him since we became friends in high school. I try to talk to him about these things but he always get mad and say I’m irritating him or he just doesn’t listen. I want to be with him and make things work but I feel like I can’t do anything as long as she is still in the picture. She is ruining my relationship and I feel like he doesn’t care. Especially because he is so rude to me. When we go some where he always walks ahead of me and won’t hold my hand unless I grab his first. I’m the perfect girlfriend I treat him like a king and he treats me so horribly. I need his ex to disappear. I love him so much and want to be with him but I don’t know how long I can take this. Please help me
Hi Ra,
This guy is not emotionally available to you. Despite your strong feelings you need recognize this and let him go. After he has clearly gotten over and dealt with the ex situation then you can consider him. Right now you are just a distraction to him.
H
Hi Shelly,
I have no way of telling if he is still mad.
What is important is how you handle the situation when you meet again.
H
me and my boyfriend have been together since april 11th 2010 and were still growing strong he does everything the list above says and that makes me so happy cause he makes me so happy 🙂 ive been into alot of fights over him though these girls just dont know when to leave someone alone and they were suppose to be my friends until they tried to be slick an try to get with my man when he dont want them lol but i got him i dont need those fake girls as my friends i got real ones 🙂
Me and my boyfriend haven’t dated for long and the only time he says how much he loves me and cares about me through text messages he doesn’t call me anymore and last week I found out he was cheating on me with another girl I forgave him cuz I really care about him when ever we are around each other he’s really sweet but he is not the same when his friends are around us. Every weekend he gets drunk and I also do too we kiss and make out but he has the intentions of more then that his brother said if he keeps doing that to me o deserve some one better then that someone that won’t get me to do anything I don’t want but he only says that cuz he also likes me and I used to have a thing foe him until he started dating my best friend what should I do??
Babygirl,
Firstly you should decide and fix in your mind how you want to be treated and also what type of relationship you would like to be in.
Also decide if you can or would tolerate cheating in an exclusive relationship.
Let your boyfriend know clearly what you want and stand by these standards even if he walks away. If you compromise he will only use you and eventually leave any way.
Hilton
Hilton
So I told him that that I didn’t like that he was cheating on me an the way he was cheating on me and treating me like I was crap he told me to go to he’ll and fuck myself and he wasn’t even there for me when I needed his help the most but him and his brother got into a fight over what he said to me so I broke up with him and I think I’m going to try going out with his brother but first get to know him a little better
Hi Babygirl,
Congrats on being clear about your principles. i understand that it would be emotionally hard on you. However this is a growth process.
However I must tell you its a very bad idea to get back into a relationship so soon – especially with his brother. It may cause more harm than good.
Take a break and move on.
H
me and my boyfriend broke up then got back together and i want to tell him how much i love him and how much he means to me but im like legit shy what do i do
Hi May,
How about showing him how much you love him in the things you do and the way you act towards him. These are much more powerful than anything you can ever say!
H
I Don’t know if my boyfriend loves me because 1 min his saying i love you and giving me hugs the when he’s around his friends and i walk past him he doesn’t really says anything he just hugs me ? 🙁 pls help Pray For Me and him to have a long lasting relationship x thanks x