How can you tell if you boyfriend is really into you? Is he playing games, messing around, taking you for a ride or does he really genuinely love you?
Here are 12 ways to tell if your boyfriend really loves you or is “just not into you”:
- He would warmly, admiringly and longingly look into your eyes, face and body from time to time.
- He would go out of his way to do little things to bring a smile on your face and make you feel happy (anything from sticking a note in your bag, buying a funny little toy or turning up on your door steps when you least expect him to).
- He would be always talking about you to his friends and family or anyone who would care to listen. Interestingly he would make you to be larger than life — Gods gift to the earth. These people will mention that they have heard about you when they meet you.
- He would want to introduce you and show you off to his friends, family and the whole world — you would be like his little trophy.
- He would always want to be with you or around you and hardly want to leave when its time for him to go.
- He hates it when people talk negatively about you and would defend you to the point of physically fighting to defend your reputation (hopefully it never comes to this. Don’t always depend on this as a proof of love).
- He avoids hurting you and if he unwittingly hurts you he apologises profusely and attempt never to let it happen again.
- Comments on how lucky he is to get a girl like you in his life.
- Compliments the way you look, the things you do and the skill/talents you display.
- Wants the best for you and encourages you to grow and develop so that you can become the best you can be.
- He is not afraid to challenge you when you are wrong or doing something that isn’t right.
- He calls, text, IM and want to meeting up with you as regularly as he can.
Ps. I just remember a couple more
- He wants know (in direct and discreet ways) what you think about him, how he looks and what he does.
- He seeks your advice and suggestions on things he is doing and decisions he wants to make.
- He takes your advice/suggestions and implements them.
- He is polite to your friends and respects your parents.
Ok. Me and my boyfriend been dating since 2007. Throughout those years he been cheating and he had a baby on me. So I broke up with him and then he say he miss and love me so I took him back. That was a big mistake he start doing what he do best so I broke up with him. But this last particually time I took Him back and now he treating me right he say he’s ready to settle down and he sorry about the past. Hesay if he could go back handheld would change what happen in his past. But I just wont to know do he mean it or is he really cheating on me. Even though I’m still in high school (17) and he (21).
hi hilton,
m really in a fix i jst dated this amazing guy for over 7 months but due to family pressure i had to break relations , my mon asked me to get back to my ex my ex new abt me dating this guy he wanted me thru out the tym we werent together but nw wen m back with him he is kinda ignoring me i am the one to message him and ask him to cal me .he says i love u and i miss u but i dunno if its true..please help me
Hi sweetheart,
Yours is the classic case of wanting someone when you can’t have them but after getting them the lure and novelty wears off. What you need to do is to back off a bit and allow him to chase you. At this stage of the relationship do not give more than you are getting.
H
Hi Shawty
You probably need to give the relationship time to see if he has really changed. Only time will tell.
H
Hi Princess
If he doesn’t want to relate to you in public and in front of his friends – he is not that into you.
H
dey say lv is blnd bt in my case its also death and stupid and it looks lyk a batchelor fridge virtualy empty except for the tv remote and hlf a jar of pickles
I’ve been with my boyfriend since November, I met him in August, I thought that was the last time I saw him, then I saw him again in October during a dinner, in August during hurricane Irene I was on duty(EMS) and his grandma wasn’t doing too good, when we arrived at the house I saw a guy run across the street and went in the house then immediately came outside and stood directly across me and said “hi” and started making conversation, he mentioned he was a firefighter in my town. That was the last time I saw him until October during an inspection parade, we were celebrating and I stepped out and little did I know he was behind me, and it was him again, so we started talking the whole night, and we’ve been together since, he calls me beautiful, and makes me feel beautiful, and calls me to make sure I’m happy, his family loves me because he talks so much about me, the little things he does for me makes me happy. He always tells me he loves me everyday. We are from 2 very different cultures but that doesn’t matter for both of us.
Hi Kacey that’s not a healthy relationship, it’s obvious that he is loosing interest in you, there isn’t any point in wasting time when you can’t get the same affections back. He tells people that you aren’t together that’s a clear sign that he isnt into you. You don’t need it there are plenty of men in the world that will worship you and clearly he isn’t one. Claim your independence and someone will find interest in your courage
I’ve. Been hanging out with this guy and I figured out that I’m falling was over heels for him and I want to know if he is feeling the same way
He always complements my eyes (thanks for small boobs so he won’t get lost in the grand canyonhaha) he sends me goodmorning texts said that I’m really pretty and don’t need makeup wear make up he forgot that we were soppost to hang out after school and then I told him and he like apologized a thousand times he’s wayy out of my league and he chooses me does he feel the same way I do about him
my boyfriend and i hv been going out for two months, he does 10/12 of the things you mentioned bt i from time to time get dis feeling dat mybe he wants us to breakup and his scared to tell me, i love him so mch and i dnt wana lose , i jst wish our relationship would last 4va. now the problem is my ex bf which i stil love wants us to get back again and nw hs everything i wanted hs to be before we brokeup, he wants a serious relationship with me and he wants to commit him self to me and that want i want but i cnt leave the guy i am with now for 2 reasons. 1 I LOVE HIM……….2 HE HAS NEVER DONE ANYTHNG TO HURT ME, but i might be loose my hubby on the other hand*sad*
PLZ help want should i do.
hi I’m Victoria
I’m just 14 but I hav a boyfriend since 21 may 2012 . we both study in the same school and we are classmates . so the thing is I left my school and I joined in an other place so I wanna make sure I don’t lose him my other friends say he is flirting to much with another girl so I’m getting scared if she will steal him from me .
but I hav asked him about this he says there is nothing so I don’t mind him talking to her but she tries to be a little touchy with him and I don’t like that . I hav even told that to my boyfriend he says he wil be careful of that .
but for the past few days he is not reponding my calls every well which is hurting my feelings a lot . I wanna go meet him but can’t .
so I need some help coz I truly believe him a lot and I love him for no cause I don’t wanna lose him !!
so please help me out
thnx 🙂
Carol,
Maybe what you should do is to make a list of everything you want in a relations and from a man. Write anything and everything that comes to your mind. then write another list of things you do not want.
Compare which of these 2 guys give you the most and make a decision. Staying on the fence of indecision will only cause frustration and pain.
Hilton
Victoria,
The best option is not to get too jealous or possesive or even clingy. These qualities drive men away. Men sometime withdraw for all kinds of reasons. Although it is not very comfortable for you it is best to step back, give him a bot of space and let him have some freedom. Chasing him will be counterproductive.
H
My boyfriend and I have a strange relationship. On Friday, we had our school dance and he asked me to go with him and I said yes. I hid in the bathroom for most of it because I was so scared and now I feel REALLY bad. My friends even tried to drag me out. I was really scared because I can’t even talk to him so how was I going to dance with him? My friends said that he was almost crying because I wouldnt come out. Eventually, he came and tried to talk to me through the bathroom door but I couldn’t hear what he was saying. When I finally went out to the dance, he asked me to dance with him on the next slow song and I told him that I wasnt allowed to because my parents would be do mad at me. Towards the last ten minutes of the dance, my friend (who just happened to be my ride home) got kicked out because she didn’t go to the school so I had to leave. My friends said he saw me leave and he started crying because he thought it was because of him. I love him and I feel bad because I hurt him. I don’t want to lose him! What do I do?!?
I’m 22 years old and my partner has a young daughter so he is in contact with his ex, a lot and sees her 4 times a week to pick his daughter up and drop her back and it’s making me feel so insecure, I know he loves me, he’d do anything for me and I play a big part in his daughters life but he was in love with his ex, they were together for long time, I’m scared he might cheat on me with her; how am I meant to tell if he would, as he obviosuly finds her attractive or he would never of gone out with her in the first place?
If someone truly is in love with you can they cheat?
I know I could never and would never do that but could he? would he?
My man shows no interest in me anymore, when i ask him to go out he tells me hes going ot church, he goes ot evening church 3 times a week and i feel negleted, he hardly tells me im beautiful or loves me, the only time he tell me he loves me is when we are doing the dance, which is not good anymore, i meet this guy who always sms me in the morning and after noon, and when i make a call back he calls immediately and all our conversation end by him telling me he loves me, he always send me airtime so i can call him whenever, he leaves in mpumalanga and im in gauteng, not sure what to do?
Hi Sewela,
You may want to have a chat with your man telling him how you miss the attention he use to give you. Tell him how it would make you feel if he spends time with you and give you compliments. Let him know that you get distracted when other men do that to you and you wish he would be the one who does it.
I do not know if you are married or just in a relationship. If you are married it would be best to revive your relationship than try pursue an affair which always end up as a huge disaster.
Hilton
Hi Rach,
Just to say one of the worst things you can do at this point to obsess about him cheating. This would sour the relationship and indeed tempt him into doing the very thing you fear.
I am not telling you to be unconcerned, but be more confident and sure about who you are and why he is with you. after all his child’s mother is his ex for a reason and you are his current woman because he desires and want you.
Be assured and be confident
Hilton
My boyfriend does all but 6 and 7 those are the most important to me at this time because he doesn’t do them.
My boyfriend of 7 years doesn’t even acknowledge me anymore. When I cry he calls me stupid and tells me he doesn’t care and that I need to go talk to my mom instead of him because he doesn’t want to hear it. We have no time together and he seems to now hate my son who’s 11 years old. He never calls me pretty and when I asked him today if he loves me he hung up on me.
Hi Denise,
From what you have written not only does your boyfriend lost respect for you he is show disdain and contempt. I am not sure what you have been doing and not doing to warrant this; or maybe its a sign that he is cheating.
If you need more specific help contact me directly.
H
Hi, me and my boyfriend have been dating since march 31,2011 and we haven’t been the best lately. Last summer (when we first started dating) he made me feel incredible, like there wasn’t another girl in the world for him. He made me feel beautiful, and like I was his. But now, things have changed so much. He never compliments me anymore, he can never hang out with me, we argue constantly, and he doesn’t make me feel incredible or beautiful anymore. I love him with everything in me and everyone says I need to let go, but I can’t. He hangs up on me and ignores me and never tells me how much he loves me anymore. Now, he puts me down and makes me feel like sh*t and I don’t know what to do. .. When we argue he ignores me and it makes me even madder. I can’t hold back my anger when it comes to him because I don’t know what to do! HELP ME !
Hi Sandra,
Sorry to hear of your problem. I do think you deserve much better treatment.
I am not sure what you have done to deserve such gross disrespect; or maybe you have not done anything – maybe he is cheating. Perhap too you have given him everything and will do anything for him so he has no challenge. You have become cheap and dispensable.
There are about 7 things you can do but I will mention 3 here.
1. Stop creating drama around the issue – getting mad and angry only makes things worst
2. Get your power back – do not plead, beg or nag him to love you. Although you may feel that you desperately want his approval.
3. Get busy. Exercise, work more, get involved in hobbies and things you like doing – in other words do not sit around and have a pity party start occupying your mind and heart with other things than him. Funnily enough this may even cause him to start noticing you again.
Talk soon.
H
PS. If you need more help contact me directly
my boyfriend got in a fight b/c some guys were constantly talking about me and eventually i guess he got tierd of it and fought the rumor was that i had kissed some one else and he got introuble so when he and his perants talked about the situation he began to not know who to belive having his perants say it and students at school say it. he ended up douting me so now his mom thinks i am the most horrible person her son should date and now she has come up with all these excuses for us to not date like , ever since we started to date his grades have gotten low , or he has changed alot. and she has seen us behave in public and she thinks i am way too touchy. and now everytime she is around we cant even hold hands. and evertime i try to touch him e pulls me away. does he really love me?
Hi Perez,
Seems to me that he may be a bit confused right now. You may want to give him some space to process this in his mind. Be sure to let him know that you love him and would prefer a relationship with him, however do not push, force or overwhekm him. If he pulls back don’t chase him allow him. He is more likely to come back to you when you respect his desire to work things out in his mind
H
My fiance and I have been seeing eachother for 5 years now and he never tells me he loves me n inside that hurts cos I want him to and he never ever sticks up for me he always choose he’s mates. And we also have a little girl together :'(
Hilton your just plain rude , how can you tell someone that their boyfriend is just not in to them not being funny but he must be if he is back with her and chose her again says everything really…I’m a lucky one my boyfriend is amazing and he does all of the above and I trust him and no one would tell me different because a relationship is about trust yes it ent that easy to do that but by not trusting the person your with makes things a lot worse for both yourself and your partner!?
Hi Gem,
I feel it for you. You seem to be someone who like others to express their feelings of love for you in words. However either you boyfriend do not fully understand how much it means to you or he just don’t care.
I would choose a time when he is in a very good mood and explain how much it really means to you when he tells you romantic and even sensual things. Remind him of a time when he did it and how much you appreciated it.
H
Me and my boyfriend have been going out a little over 2 years now. He is my first serious boyfriend. I’m 18 and he’s 20, our relationship was never very good in high school, we kind of did stuff behind eachothers back. Texted other people, and kind of even did things to make eachother mad. One day he told me he cheated on me because he thought i cheated on him when really i never did. I would never think about cheating on him because i love him. Well because i did all that stuff when we were in highschool i lost his trust and he kind of lost mine. He always thinks im lying and that i’m doing stuff behind his back and im really not, im trying to have a good happy life with him now. I’m working and going to college now, i’ve grown up alot since i was in highschool, and once i graduated i moved in with him and that changed everything. Right now im 7 months pregnant and he’s still acting like he did when he was in highschool and he graduated a year before me. I’ve stopped lying to him, doing stuff behind his back, i’ve been telling him the truth and the things that i’m doing. so he knows im not doing anything behind his back but now matter what i show him or do he is always going to think that i’m lying and doing things behind his back but really i’m trying to make our relationship better for us and our baby. What can i do to help make him see that i am trying to be a better person than the person i was in highschool?
Hi Rae,
Unfortunately past behaviour could colour what people think of you in the present. Funnily trying too hard to convince him may only make him more suspicious. My susgestion is to be open, transparent, answer any question he may have and even show him evidence of phone logs etc. Once you have done all you could leave it to him to decide. You can never convince him if he doesn’t want to believe.
Also another simple thing to do is not to make a big deal out of it issue. This only adds to the problem.
H
Hi, me and my boyfriend have been dating since 19 October,2011 we used to meet everyday and chatting all night on facebook or skype but i used to chat with my exboyfriend 5 months ago but just as a friend but my boyfriend take that wrong way we had really bad fight about it and i made promise that i’ll never talk to my exboyfriend so everything was going very well but moths ago i find out my boyfriend is smoking weed and that he chatting with others girls behind my back he promise me many times that he is not gonna do that anymore but he keep doing that and also two weeks ago i find out that he meet some girl in the shop and they been chatting and calling each other behind my back and he forget to deleted the conversation on skype so i take the phone and i read it and he was so nice to her he tell her that she’s so beautiful and he never see more beautiful girl in the word then her and he ask her if she want to be with him but in this same time he was with me but he had fight with me but he’s the one who make that fight he always going on about my exboyfriend and he call me with names and all the time when we have any fight he telling me to go back to my exboyfriend but i dont have any feeling for my exboyfriend and i dont even talk to him so “how can i know if he love me???” and he make excuse that he just chat with that girl because he was think that im talk to my exboyfriend but i haven’t talk to my exboyfrind since from that day that we made promise that im not gonna talk to my exboyfriend or any boy and he promise to do this same thing to not chat with girl but he has changes since from that day he chat with that girl he say he just like her but that he love me and that he deosnt want to lose me and that he want to spend rest of his life with me but he’s not like he used to be he always telling me lies and he keep hiding things from me we also had argument today because i havent tell him that long time ago i had operation but i really didn’t remember that and he was calling me names on the road and after when i get home he sent me a lot of horrible messages and and he call me lie but i haven’t lie about anything i just didnt remember about the operation also i have find out that i have anemia and that i might have epilepsy and when we had fight my boyfirned bring that out and call me disease and with some horrible name after that he apologize but is not first time when he call me with names when he get angry and after that he apologize and next day he will do this same thing he say that he’s sorry for what he say but he’s ignoring me i call him he to check if he’s at home but he doesn’t replay to my messages and i have no idea why is he that way and i really love him and i dont want to lose him but i have no idea what to do and if he love me anymore he also tell me that he only had one exgirlfriend but they have never done that i was his first .. but i have no idea if is true or not
errm my boyfriend doesnt do any apart from half of one :/ the “He is polite to your friends and respects your parents.” only half cause he hasnt met my parents (my fault) and he sometimes annoys my friends :/ ermm should i be woried? i really dont know whats going on, he never texts me unless i text him first but is always texting other people :/ please , anyone help? what should i do? is he cheeting cause when i wanna meet up hes always “busy” im really confused……
Hi Fadela,
Sounds as if you boyfriend is bored, too confortable or cheating. There are several things you can do but let me suggest one. simply step back. If he doesn’t call or text don’t call him. Simply find something fun and exciting to do. When he calls spend a little time with hin and tell him you have to go because you are busy.
This may sound crazy but it will help him to see you as special again.
H
Hi Anna,
Hmmm. Anna I know you love your boyfriend. You will do anything to keep him. Believe it or not one sure way to lose him is take all his disrespect and put-downs without letting him know how you feel about it.
Secondly your case become even more complicated it your boyfriend is addicted to weed. You will have to reconsider if you want to be in a relationship with an addict. His addiction would be more important to him than you
H
Hi, i have been with my boyfriend since the 15th of April 2011 (I’m going on 17 and him 19) and i love him so much. Whenever I’m with him I feel like nothing can ever go wrong and I feel so safe and loved, like I actually mean something to someone for the first time. He makes me laugh and kisses me and shows me off. But I know i can’t trust him, he used to like all these pictures of girls and i asked him to stop and he did but did it once more and got angry at me because i was upset. He was then talking about having sex with a girl nicknamed “Titney” as jokes with his friends. Then he would be flirting with girls on facebook and saying that he was just being friendly. We promised that if somebody starts to hit on us that we would tell them that we’re not interested but he doesn’t. Then a girl made out with him at a party claiming that she forced herself on him and after that he added them on facebook and she’s written on his wall a few times yet he says he doesn’t speak to her? He then didn’t tell me that this girl who he’s friends with had a sex dream with him and i found out the day after our one year anniversary that he had a sex dream about her too. I confronted him about it and he said that he was just checking if she liked him.
He know’s I don’t believe a word he says anymore, not even that he loves me or that I’m beautiful. I honestly love him and hate him at the same time. He just promises me he’ll change and than he’ll go and break it again. I’ve given him a third chance and after that I’m leaving for good. He appologises and cries sometimes about it but he has know idea how much It’s affected me. I feel like i can’t even look in the mirror anymore because i feel so repulsed and as if I’m not good enough, i feel like i should look like the girls he wants instead of me and sometimes i feel so useless and meaningless that i just imagine different ways of killing myself and imagining that he would care.
Sometimes he gets angry that i can’t let go, i tried the first time but it’s so hard to let go the second time. When i mention broken promises he sometimes mentions how i’ve broken my promise about stopping cutting myself yet it’s so hard to tell him that the reason i broke it and cut myself again was because of him breaking those promises.
I don’t know what to do, i can’t let it go and i’m so worried but when I’m with him in person i feel so happy and that i don’t have anything to worry about. He says he wants to marry me but now I’ve told him that i don’t know if i want to anymore. I just want to be happy with him and he says he’ll change but i want to somehow undo the past, him to go back and fix his mistakes before he ever made them. I know that I’m sticking to my promise that I’ll leave him if he does it again it’s just how do i help myself get over this? Yesterday i found myself looking up plastic surgery and how to tie a noose, I feel so depressed when I’m away from him and so scared he’ll hurt me again. I don’t mean to sound like a drama queen and I’m sorry about the length. I feel like it helps me to get it out but whenever i do i find myself and him crying or us shouting at one another through texts or ignoring each other
My boyfriend only dors like 4 of the above but neither of us told our parents bc we might get in trouble but everyone in school knows. But he almost never texts me back and if he does, doesn’t try to make a conversation or if I start one, doesn’t continue texting me. And I have been the one making efforts to hang out. I’m afraid I have fallin in love with someone who doesn’t love me back. 🙁 Even though he always says he loves me, I’m not sure.
Hi Shenae,
Thank you for reaching out and sharing your vulnerable feelings. That is very brave of you. I fully understand that you feel strongly for this person and you want him to value you so much.
Unfortunately you are somehow beginning to think that your value is based totally on him and the relationship. While it is great to have a great relationship and get love from someone else, maybe you may want to consider getting other sources of finding esteem and value.
Here are several suggestions:
1. Please see a proffesional therapist or counselor
2. start exercising or doing some physical activity at least 3 times a week
3. find some hobby that you are interested in and start doing them
4. Volunteer you time to help someone else
5. Get more friends and people who can give you positive feedback about your value and potential
6. Pray. I do not know if you have a faith background but this has been shown to help
7. Remember while it is good to have his love hurting yourself will not force him to be with you.
Keep strong
Hilton
I have been with this guy for 7 months… I’m still too young to drive and my parents are letting him come over soon when they can be around to keep an eye on us… He has a lot going on in his life and so he shuts out most stuff. His emotions are blank. Some days he is so romantic and sweet some days he just is dull and responds but not fun… He really is a nice guy and shows only me his weaker more gentle not crazy self. I am trying not to fall in love too hard or else I will get hurt… I can’t see him at his place either because his mother doesn’t like me and she is just a terrible person. He tells me he loves me. He used to say he didn’t want to lie and he wasn’t sure if it was love and he hoped it was. The other day he asked how I knew I loved him and I told him, he said he felt the same then some. So now we are back to I love yous. He sometimes talks about us in the future… And he really sincerely wants it to happen as much as I do… I just don’t know now because I get so depressed when he doesn’t say he loves me one night before bed… And all his friends tell me he misses me a lot and stuff but that one negative friend puts me down with “its ‘love’ not real your too young” …. But I really hope it is… Because I have known him almost 4 years.. and dated him almost 1…
I’ve been with my boyfriend for about 5 months now officially, unofficially longer. He does all that list with me.. I know i am in love with him. But im finding it very hard thing to say to the point were im getting moody with myself for not saying it and end up crying because i’ve keeping my emotions locked up for so long.. i’ve been in a long relationship before and felt like i said it way too early in previous ones.. i don’t want to spoil it by saying it too soon. Also he’s had a very tough time with love with previous relations… before we got together and were just friends he would tell me about them and think love was an awful thing.. so this makes me anxious as well to say that word to him. I wanted to say it to him today while we were layed on the sofa together looking into each others eyes.. but i feel like im going to throw up and start shaking.. I know it needs to be said soon.. but when? I dont want to mess things up with him… hes the one i have been waiting for.. i have loved him for quite a while now. please help. should i tell him ? or should i wait a little longer.
Hi Sammi,
It seems to me that you feel that you will mess up things if you say I love you too soon. it may be that you feel it is a very great commitment to say that.
Why not start by giving him compliments and appreciation for what he love about him and what he does for you. let him know how these positively affect you. Praise him for who he is and what he does. These small things can have a very great impact and may help you to let him know how you really feel later
H
I have been with this guy for 4 months as of July 2,2012 and I love him sooooo much. I could never live without him. But he hasn’t been talking to me and actually texts my best friend more than me, and he is always touching her. It took him one whole day to just hug me. I think he doesn’t love me back. I’m afraid that I am in love with someone who doesn’t love me back. And this doesn’t help how low my self esteem is. I find myself looking up sucide ideas that are painless.
But when I think of maybe trying one, I think of my family and how only some might be heart broken and sad, and then of my few friends that I would be hurting and can’t come to do it. The one person I always think about though is (my now ex boyfriend thanks to one of my friends that really hates him). And how much I will miss him. But then I’m afraid that right after (like maybe a week after) he will ask someone out and not even care about me. I don’t know what to do. And I feel after my friend took my phone and said that stuff to him he hates me.
Hi Hilton,
I have been with my boyfriend for 7 months now. It’s not been the easiest relationship in the world. We have argued a lot since we have been going out. Things have started to get better, but i feel like i don’t speak to a lo of my friends anymore because of him not trusting them with me, or him not liking them. To save arguments I don’t really have much to do with them anymore.
Days that we don’t see eachother I feel really lonely as i don’t see anyone or do anything. When he doesn’t see me, he always goes out and goes out with his mates. Am i being horrible for being jealous for him going out with his mates all the time?
Since we have been going out, I think I have seen 4 of his mates, and not for very long. I don’t really feel like i’m part of his life like he is with mine. I have brought it up with him a number of times, and he says that he is going to change it, but he never does! It’s starting to really get me down now. I want a relationship that we can just go to my or his mates house, or on a night out and feel like a stranger…
I love him to bits, and that’s why through all of the arguments we have stayed together.
He has asked me to go to his works summer party next week, but i’m not sure if I should go. I have a really good feeling that he is gonna just leave me a lone all night and I’m gonna end up having an argument with him, or I just go home early (which will cause an argument)
What do you think I should do about it all? x
OK so me and my boyfriend been dating since September 2009 and at first he did everything on the list but now he don’t really do anything we like together and i love him but i miss the romance but the other day he was txting this girl that he says is his friend but i catch him flirting with her and her him then he delete the txt messages i ask him about her and he keeps on telling me there friends what should i do
i just started to date this guy on the 4th of july hes so cute and i love him.he slightly flirts with my bff and he flirts back he said he loves me but i am not sure.my bff was mad at me and tried to hit me he told her to back off and he grabed her.someone help dose he truley love me?
I started a sexual relationship nine months ago while married. Everything seemed wonderful. We texted when we could. We would meet for our sexual encounters. My husband and I became seperated and divorced. My husband was into men. So, let’s call him W, W and I began having more sexual encounters while I was seperated. Keep in mind everything had to be kept secret. Well nine months later, I’m divorced and he wants to see me but not be exclusive. We only meet for sex, he doesn’t text much, he never calls. I know I love him, but he has time for friends but not me. He told me he didn’t want a relationship. He is a widow and it’s almost been two years. When we have sex..it’s not just sex. He says let me mAke love to you, we cuddle, he cares about my satisfaction..so what do I do. Stay hidden? Keep sex going, drop him, I love him..
Hi V,
Unfortunately I have to tell you that your relationship is very shaky. It is only based on sex and that cannot sustain a relationship for long. You have bonded to him because sex does cause women to bond, however he is not equally bonded to you except for the pleasure he gets.
The best way forward – although it is very difficult to do – is to cut off the sex and try to build a relationship based on friendship. He may or may not agree, however your relationship has very little chance of succeeding either way.
H
I have been with my guy for about 2 months, and he is always telling me tht he loves my and all tht cute stuff. But he never does any of tht stuff listed above. Some times I feel lke tht I am not as Important to him as I should be, which I don’t think is fun. He is the first person I think of in the morning and the last at night. I feel lke I have drop the world just for him, and he can’t even give the sense of reassurance. What do I do? And I am afraid to talk to him about this kind of stuff.
Hi Alexia,
The greatest mistake and many other women make is to love their boyfriend too much. they give up their friends, hobbies, interest and “world” for this man only to get little or nothing from him.
Quite frankly men do not like this. Although you think that it would make him happy on the contrary it only makes him feel bored and he quickly lose interest.
The best thing you can do right now is to get your life back. Get your friends, hobbies and interest back. It will not only do wonders for you esteem but also make you more interesting to him.
H
Hi Felicia,
When a man pulls away from you do not chase him. Give him space and step back.
H
Hi Audrina,
Sorry for the delay in responding to you. Based on what you wrote it looks as if your BF is trying to isolate you. It seems as though he wants to be the only person for you to depend on. That is very dangerous – you do not have friends and he still maintain his mates.
I would quite gently but firmly explain that you should either develop mutual friends or you be allowed to keep your friends if he wants to maintain his. I would also happily go along to his party and make friends with people there.
Your relationship will become very unhealthy if things continue as they are.
H