How can you tell if you boyfriend is really into you? Is he playing games, messing around, taking you for a ride or does he really genuinely love you?
Here are 12 ways to tell if your boyfriend really loves you or is “just not into you”:
- He would warmly, admiringly and longingly look into your eyes, face and body from time to time.
- He would go out of his way to do little things to bring a smile on your face and make you feel happy (anything from sticking a note in your bag, buying a funny little toy or turning up on your door steps when you least expect him to).
- He would be always talking about you to his friends and family or anyone who would care to listen. Interestingly he would make you to be larger than life — Gods gift to the earth. These people will mention that they have heard about you when they meet you.
- He would want to introduce you and show you off to his friends, family and the whole world — you would be like his little trophy.
- He would always want to be with you or around you and hardly want to leave when its time for him to go.
- He hates it when people talk negatively about you and would defend you to the point of physically fighting to defend your reputation (hopefully it never comes to this. Don’t always depend on this as a proof of love).
- He avoids hurting you and if he unwittingly hurts you he apologises profusely and attempt never to let it happen again.
- Comments on how lucky he is to get a girl like you in his life.
- Compliments the way you look, the things you do and the skill/talents you display.
- Wants the best for you and encourages you to grow and develop so that you can become the best you can be.
- He is not afraid to challenge you when you are wrong or doing something that isn’t right.
- He calls, text, IM and want to meeting up with you as regularly as he can.
Ps. I just remember a couple more
- He wants know (in direct and discreet ways) what you think about him, how he looks and what he does.
- He seeks your advice and suggestions on things he is doing and decisions he wants to make.
- He takes your advice/suggestions and implements them.
- He is polite to your friends and respects your parents.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a month. We have a good friendship that we established before we started dating where we can talk about anything. The first two weeks we had been dating were great. Now, I am feeling like he is losing interest and getting complacent with where we are. Before he called a lot and showed how much he liked me by coming around me and planning romantic things for us to do and cuddling. He was trying to spend time with me whenever he wanted.Now, I have to ask to him to come see me and when I tell him that I’d like to see him, and that I miss him, need his affection and his love or that I’d like to bond with him or spend time with him for just an hour he says he will come and then he won’t because he didn’t feel like it or if I ask him to come over today he will say “Oh well I was actually thinking about coming tomorrow.” So, he basically stops by now when he feels like it and I think it is because he knows that he has me and feels like he doesn’t have to do romantic things anymore now that we are together.And he is in the habit of planning dates and changing what we are going to do while we are on the date to go out with friends or whatever. For example, he will plan a Friday night date for dinner and a movie and after dinner decide not to go to the movies and just do drinks because he’s planned something with his friends. I try to communicate with him and tell him where I am coming from and see if he is happy. He says he is happy but I’m not. Now he waits on me to call him. And if I don’t, he calls because he thinks I am mad at him.Does this mean he has lost interest?
Hi Paris,
Men love in cycles. Sometimes he will be totally into you and other times for some unknown reason (even to himself) he withdraws and seem to lose interest.
The best thing to do during those times is to give him space and not pressure him. In fact use the time to pursure your own interest and friends. DO NOT totally depend on him to provided all your emotional needs, instead have fun and happy times with your friends and family.
Believe if or not he will come back after he realizes that you have a life of your own apart from him
H
Hi, my boyfriend and I have dated before, broken up, had a thing for over a year, and have been going out again for 4 months now. When he asked me if I’d marry him I said yes because that’s what I really want. He’s in tech school right now for the Air Force, we talk every day and he always says he loves me. Sometimes I don’t hear my phone go off because I’m asleep when he calls. Out of the blue today he facebook messaged me saying we’ll need to talk when he gets back. What does this mean? I’m scared, nervous, and confused because we haven’t had a fight since we started dating again. Someone please help me out it would be much appreciated. Thanks.
Hi Jade,
Nobody can tell you what he wants to talk about. The worst thing you can do right now is to panic and imagine all kind of crazy things. I understand the long wait can be frustrating. If you cannot wait just call him and explain that the message seems important and its very difficult for you to concentrate on anything else. Ask him if he can discuss it over the phone or on skype.
H
Hi I have been going out wiv my boyfriend for 2 yrs now an we have had a child who is 1 now and my boyfriend tells me that he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life wiv me but since having a child he as been abit weird wiv me
He is always on his phone day and night always txting and wen he
Needs to use the house phone he runs up stairs an stays in the bedroom when he never used to do that he used to be in the same room as me wen he used the phone
I have recently found out that he as been asking girls for there bbm pins so he can take dirty to them cz I hve caught him doing it once in the first year of are relationship an i asked him bout it an he sed it is just for a laugh an then sometimes he says that he does not know what i am on about but I am worried that he might be cheating on me cz I hve been cheated on in the past so It is difficult for me to believe him wen he says he is not
He says that he wud never cheat on me cz he loves me to much an he says that he wants more kids
He spends time wiv me but not as often as he used to he does do things for me an helps me out but I just don’t no what to do
I got with my boyfriend in 2010, but he went to prison. He just got out in April this yr. At first he was always romantic snd passionate and doing things for me like bringing me a plate of dinner in bed, etc. He was wonderful with my son, the wholw works. All of a sudden he started smoking weed again and noe hes going outside to smoke with his baby mams in her car at 3am, deleting texts, the only time he spends with me is when we have sex. But he also started being controlling. Is he cheating? Whats going on?
Hi,me and my boyfriend have been in a relationship for about 6 weeks and he told me he loves me,but he has never introduced me to his family,only one of his friends,and he has not introduced me to his kids!! he has met my kids tho!! he pays his babymama’s light bill and is taking care of a child by her that is not his because he claims he is like a father figure to him’whatever’….and he will not let me see his phone!..he lives with his parents but has not brought me over there yet! i dont even know if he has talked to any one about me..i caught him trying to meet up with a girl on tagged,and we got into a heated argument and almost broke up..he claims he is just a flirt but i told him if you want to be with me you have to stop..he said okay..but i think he is going behind my back and talking and doing other girls..he is overconfident but he always compliments me when we see each other..we used to see each other every other day,now its once or twice every two weeks?? now i think im pregnant by him,i want to leave now!!but dont dont kno what i should do..please help!!
Hi Pooh,
1. Confirm if you are pregnant of not
2. If you are you have some hard decisions to make. I am pro life so would encourage you to have a talk with him and let him know how you feel. find out if he is willing to support you emotionally, physically and financially with the child.
3. If you are not pregnant you need to be clear about what you will not accept in the relationship. If need him to be honest, transparent and committed and he is not then you are not compatible. It will not get better. Leave and look for someone who is willing to give you what you need.
H
Hi angellips,
The question you need to ask yourself is: Is this the type of behavior you want? Are you willing to put up with it? What are your principles around this type of attitude?
If not then you need to be clear about what you will not accept in a relationship.
Men will push the boundaries if yiou allow them and they will not respect you if you become a push over.
H
Hi Leanne,
I does sound as if your bf does still love you however he maybe playing the field or trying to have his cake and eat it.
One of the best and most effective way to handle this – although its not easy to do – is to tell him that you love and appreciate him. Inform him that you would love to spend your life with him but you cannot afford to be with someone who cheats. Tell him that if he wants he is free to go and be with whomever he wants to be with.
In other words give him his freedom but do not accept cheating
h
My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half. I love him dearly. However, I have had a lot of bad things that happened over the last few months ( not involving him). But now he sends messages to his friends say that he doesn’t know if we are gonna work. I understand that the things that have happened to me have put stress on him, but i feel like he still loves me. He just has people pushing him in the wrong direction. How can I show him that we truly are meant for each other?
Hi Hilton,
Me and my bf have been together for 3 months now. But I feel lke we r drifting, he bailed twice on me and then told me tht he doesn’t have time for me. I fell lke he doesn’t want me anymore. We txt and he leaves me hanging, and he thinks its ok. He never tells me tht he loves anymore. I told myself tht I would never cry because of him, but I already broke tht promise. So I stared to hang out with some guys friends, and my now girlfriends are kinda made at me, hinking tht I am ditching him . But I just don’t know what to do anymore, I love him but the other guys tht I hang out with treat me so much better and always have time for me. please help me, I don’t want to lose him, but Idk if I have to let him go </3
Hi Alexia
People treat you how you allow them to. If you do not like the way you are being treated then you should take firm and clear actions about it. If you don’t then your integrity will be blighted and he will lose respect for you and treat you like trash.
It maybe best that you step back and give him space rather than to be treated like a door mat. At the same time get out and spend time with people who will give you the respect you deserve.
H
me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and a month he always loved talking to me and hanging out with me but now alot of things have changed he is less affectionate now and everytime we hang out he never has anything to say and he likes to spend less time with me and never looks at me in the eye but he tells me with emotion that he wants me to stay faithful to him and that he loves me but he is showing the total opposite he acts like hes not even happy im just confused he takes care of me but doesnt really act like hes into me anymore
Me and my bf have been together for 10 months now and i just found out that he told this girl who is supposed to be his bff that he would be with her if i wasnt for me and he said more than that but i read the dates on all he messages and the date he wrote those messages was on 3/19/2012 should i be worried?
uhmm hi i really need your hlp..
im dating this guy since 4mnths..he lives in-front ov my house..we are frnds since 2011..he proposd me a year ago bt i did not accept him as i was dating anothr guy..we broke up (i and my ex boyfrnd) bt i was singl for a year..he again proposd me saying that he was waiting for me since last year..he gave me his fb passwrd..i didnt found anythng in his messages..whn we meet i check his cell bt still i feel he is cheating on me as i had bad xperinces before in my relationshps..nd i reali wnt this relationshp pleaz tell me how cn i find out if hee is loyal to me..i cant ask him myslf as i am afraid he might get hurt or somethng pleaz hlp me out
Basically, i have been with bf for a year now, i broke up with a couple of times before because didn’t think i liked him properly, it upset him a lot anyway got back with him 4 months ago and were going great, better than ever because i realized i was actually inlove with him and wanted to be with him forever, but recently he comes home from work and goes straight to bed, doesn’t even text/call me, i only get to see him at weekends because of work and we argue on most of them, last weekend he took me for some drinks and i said how my knees really hurt (i have a problem with them), he offered to rub them, i said no cause it made them feel worse, but he still did it anyway, told him to stop many times and he didn’t, it was like he was enjoying annoying me, in the end i burst into tears because i was in agony, and walk out, he says he’s had enough and that he thinks we should end it, i say maybe we should, then he starts crying. He apoligizes and i forget about it, i mean it had never happened before, just thought he was in an annoying mood! Now last thursday i call him, ask if he’s gunna come round, has a huge go at me saying ‘you know me and your dad don’t get on, because you live with him now i don’t really wanna see you’ i cry again, have a huge argument, meet him next day, sort it, he calls me that night and i told him i had spoken to the citizens advice beruea about a place to live has another go at me about how embarrassing it would be to have a gf on benefits, etc, etc. I ask him why he is being like this and he tells me he doesn’t care about me anymore so i tell him that we shouldn’t be together anymore and he crys saying that he doesn’t want us to break up… I am worried sick on what to do, we were planning on moving in together at the end of this year! I love him but do you think he will change, he said he will but i need someone else’s opinion, please help! Sammi xx
i have a boyfriend and i love him soooooo much he loves me even more but the problem is that he get very jealous he make standards of people i should and should not talk to and the worst part he had a girlfriend who wants him back . We are very close to each other . The other day when i went into is Facebook profile he and is ineligibly ex girlfriend was talking about their moments that they had when they where together . One time My boyfriend ask me for sex and i told him i am not ready for that and he understand but the girl he was dating was saying : “w need to be together we both break our v virginity with each other” and then she wrote me a strongly email so i reply to that email with even stronger words but the problem is in is message he told her he loves her what should i do.
Hi, I have just recently started dating. My boyfriend and I have been together for about two months now. I feel like he is everything listed above, he texts me every night and is constantly telling me he loves me! I feel so happy with him, he knows just what to say to make me smile! But, a few days ago he left on vacation and has stopped returning my texts… he says he just really busy with his family. Should I be concerned that he is starting to lose interest or is it just vacation hustle? Also should I keep texting him or wait until he’s ready to text me? Please help, I don’t want to seem needy and desperate but, I want my boyfriend back!
Hi Kay,
Relax and be patient, everything will be OK. They guy is just on a holiday, there is nothing you wrote that indicates your relationship is threatened.
H
Hi Kenzie,
There are several things you can do however I will mention 1 most powerful thing
1. Although this can be very difficult – Give him the freedom to leave or stay with you. Let him know that you love him and would would like a relationship with him however he is free to stay or go you will not prevent him.
H
HI Sammi,
Your boyfriend seems as though he has major mood swings and may even have a deeper issues. You might want to suggest that he sees a counselor.
If things are like this when you only see each other briefly what would it be when you move in together? I would suggest that you avoid moving in together until the issues are ironed out and the relationship is settled.
In other words give it time
H
Hi ekta
check this article
http://www.wikihow.com/Tell-if-Your-Boyfriend/Girlfriend-Is-Cheating
H
Hi Hailee,
Yes you should be concerned if you are in an exclusive and steady relationship. Have you asked you boyfriend about these things? Give him a chance to explain himself and be clear to him that you do not feel comfortable about it.
H
Hi nina,
If I were you I will simply step back and give him space. Sometimes men need some space and if they are pulling away do not chase him. Release him. If he is serious he will return, but when he does don’t make it too easy for him.
H
Hi
I am with my boyfriend for more than a year and when we started we are so sweet & cannot last a day without seeing each other. There comes a problem to us saying to me that his mother wanted to arrange him to his cousin 9they are muslim & im christian)but i am willing to give up everything on me if he will just love & fight me truly. when he went home he talked to his mom but she doesnt want anyone for her son only that cousin. he decided & call me that what to do bcoz its his destiny, meaning he choosed them & leave me with a broken heart. when he returned back here we were ok again & seems like nothing happen but he is always saying that things are complicated. apart from he was addicted on the net talking to ladies, and i came to know that when i was away from leave he let someone to come to his flat, a very strong evidence ive got, i confronted him but he never admits & said that his name was just used…i know he did it! but then after all i forgive him & things are back to normal..but now whats happening is he is abusing if im ok, he will just take me for granted knowing that il gonna be ok anyways…we always argue and seems like i have no ryt to get upset as he will never make up to me….now we are in bad situation,we argued & i was so upset of him of not making me feel to be ok and he just left me with angry feelings but the next still i am the one who called him to apologize & to make things ok again..this is the usual situation now…..he is so hard to me & just taking me for granted….what i have to do? does he loves me? as evendo he seldoms sya that he loves me i truly believed on that coz when we are together we are really spending time, i mean for a long time but in the end will end up with argument hhh…..pls advice
my boyfriend n I hav been seeing one another since July 4 n i’m at his house all the time n I don’t mind tht he goes n plays hand ball or to his brothers house but he told me wen we was in bed r together tht he loved me no didn’t respond cuz I wasn’t sure if meant it or not but he gets mad wen I hav to leave to get my son or go home for something cuz I might be fine for a few hrs visiting with my mom or jus doing some errands n then wen I get back to his house he is all happy to see me n wen I’m gone he days I txt or call him but wen I do he don’t respond to my txt but he will
answer the phone call he tells me tht he don’t like talking on the ;»phone but he never calls me or txt me n now he is talking bout moving in together he has introduced me to all his family no hav unreduced him to my family n now I jus wonder if this relationship is going 2 work out» o»»}r wat cuz I want to tell him tht I love him but
But i’m not sure wen I should tell him cuz i’m not sure if he well say it back but I love being with him n around him we go do things together n my son absolutely adores him n he adores my son n now he wants another kid n so do I but how can I tell if he is jus going to run out on me or if he is going to be there with me
Dear hilton
I’m 13 and my boyfriend is 14
We’ve already talked about what will happen in our future and he wanted marriage and he wants to get married soon. I told he and I should wate a little bit before marriage
We also agreed not to have sex before the ages of 18(me) and 19(him) so it’s legal
But we both really love each other just the problem is we only see each other for three weeks on vacation in nh
He lives in massachusetts and me in connecticut
Would you please answer me if we should? (get married) soon
Him and I both love each other and have been dating for a month.
But I did find ur sight useful and currently recommending it to others
Anyway hugs and kisses
Kelly
Hi Kelly,
I understand that you have strong feeling for each other but marriage is not only about how you feel. Do you or him have a job to sustain each other? You will need to pay bills, buy food/clothes and a host of other functional things.
Right now it best to focus on getting an education or career so that when the time comes you can handle the responsibility.
Also teen marriages have a very high rate of divorce so be patient and wait.
Hilton
Hi Lyiah,
If you are both serious about each other and want children why not get married. Marriage provide a stable environment for both you and children. However be sure that you can both handle the responsibility that comes with being married. Get some premarital counsel and go to marriage classes these help a great deal to prepare people for marriage
Hilton
Hi Jingle,
Seems as though both have different value system. Its important that you get some clarity about the marriage issue. If he is destined to marry his cousin then the relationship with you is doomed. There is no point trying to salvage something that will never be.
Hilton
Okaay so my boyfriend is the sweetest thin in the world and he treats me amazingly. He tells me he loves me all the time and how I’m on his mind 24/7 but he’s away for two weeks and I really miss him. I barely get to talk to him. What should I do so I don’t het upset about missing him so much?
Thanks h
Hi Alysa,
Two weeks is not a very long time in the grand scheme of things, so do the things you use to do before you had a boyfriend. Socialize with friends, get into games and hobbies or get more involved in studying, reading or researching a topic of your interest.
In other words get a life and do not make your BF your entire world. If your life revolves just around him, it is one of the ways to overwhelm him and kill the relationship
H
i dont know wether i love my bf or not , he loves me too much but doesnt take care of me , we’ve been together for almost 2 months and he never made me feel like he needs me until three days ago , i loved him too much when we first dated but when i realized that he didnt care about me that much i started losing my love for him .. so it’s like i loved him in the first 2 months n i think now i dont but he loves me now more than i do , i asked him so that we break up but he didnt want to ,he made his best to stay with me , i dont know wt to do i feel like i dont wanna lose him but in the same time im not so comfortable with him , what shall i do !?
my boyfriend does all of the above….till last night…see i have GAD and i worry constantly. Well last night i told him to be honest about one thing and that was about him looking at other women…he said he does but not in the way you think. He said he looks at their face and how they act well i started to cry because he told me he never did look at any other woman then he told me that and it just broke my heart. He says im his only woman but now i dont know…apparently he wants to be with me..but now i dont know if i can trust him..so i dont know what to do anymore. If anyone has any answers for me please email me
hi i have been datin a guy for a year now we havin broke up or had problems till a month before we made a year but we never broke up. i know he isnt cheating but i would really like to know if he loves me. he used to go out of his way to do things like call me before school early early in the morin and he would worry if i didnt tx him as soon as i got home and he had made plans of marrying me an that sort of thing and always called me every night and we would talk on the phone for hours every night. then he stopped makin future plans with me and and for a week he has only called me for a few mins a day he actually didnt even call me one night and when we would spen time together it would be quiet or weird to be around him and it seemed as if he didnt want me as much. he even told me on our anniversery he couldnt see our relationship going anywhere but as boyfriend/girl friend so i talk to him about breaking up an he begged me not to. after spending the past weekend together he was back to his old self an told me he was glad we were getting closer again and he could see us as more in the future but i dont understand how i should act towards this he starts collage as a freshman soon and im still in high school( seinor) but he wants to stay with me we havent had sexual relations or any of that an hes never tried to pressure me into it i just dont know what to think.
Well I have been having an issue with my bf for awhile. I hardly ever see him, because he works so much. When he isnt working he is busy with something else. Today was our 5 month mark, but on occasions he waits 2 or 3 hours for me just to get off work. He also never gets jealous and if i do something wrong he forgives me after a few days. He tells me he loves me and I love him. He doesnt really care about alot of people in his life, but I am one of those he truely cares for and opens up to. I just dont know what to do about him, he can be soo unemotional, and he says he misses me but never acts like it. What should I do?
Hi Kitty,
Seems as if you have a good thing going. He may not be talking your love language, he need to patiently train him how to respond to you the way you would love. Start by rewarding him every time he does something right
H
hayhay,
Unfortunately men tend to love in cycles. Sometimes they are very intense, then they draw back. When this happens don’t panic just gave him space and time – he will come back
H
Storm,
Men are very visual and tend to look at beautiful women. This is no reflection how how they feel about you – Every man does it even priests. We are conditioned that way.
H
Sarah,
This sounds a bit confusing. I think you need to give it time as you seems to be just depending on feelings. There is more to love than feelings
H
me and my boyfriend has 2mouth together is like we hve 2years the way he treath me he got all 12ways his the one cuz im in love with him his the one ……..:)
:I 🙂 so my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 7 months in our relationship I caught him talking to other females 3 imes I did cheat on him once wich isn’t right but each time he would talk to these females and tell them how sexy they are and that he was single I caught him every time he seems to be differant now but I have a gut feeling he is up to somthing once again and everytime I get this feeling I’m usually right. What should I do?
Hi Linds
Just to say that you really have to decide what your romantic borders are? Do you want an exclusive relationship? if you need security you may need to let your bf know that you cannot deal with uncertainty or find someone who would be able to give you that security?
H
I have a boyfriend I love him to death I would do anything for him. Well not everything but I love him. I don’t know if he would do anything for me though. He all most got into a fight with his older bother cause he called me a slaut. Which I ‘m not . He is really the firsst guy I have every dated. I love him cause he is all ways there for me. We were best friends for a year. Then he asked me out on my birthday I thought it was very sweet. But one thing I can’t tell is that he means every word he says to me. How ccan I tell? Please help me!
My boyfriend and I have been going out for 9 months. The first 3 months of our relationship was awesome. I thought it was too good to be true, he was perfect. He was sweet, great sense of humor and he showed interest in my life. Since we moved in together, things feel as though they are falling apart. His humor to me sometimes isnt very funny . He says im too serious, but i disagree. He doesnt show interest in my life and when im upset , he doesnt care to ask, even if im crying. He makes plans without me ( like wanting to go to a college party which i dont see the point unless yoyr single or its your stag party) i love him very much but i dont want to believe that he feels the same way if he doesnt. Ive tried talking to him and he says im being paranoid and that he thinks our relationship is perfect when i dont think it is anymore. Also, we rarely have sex, once a month if im lucky. I also brought this to his attention and he says because hes tired from working alot. I dont feel like thats a good excuse. However, with all that said, he calls me babe all the time and says im beautiful sometimes, hugs and kisses me before work every morning and thanks me for cooking supper, everytime. Is he still into me?
Hi Mary,
I am not sure where you want to take the relationship? However sometimes when me get all what they want e.g. totall access to you, they tend to lose their sense of challenge and curiosity.
I would recommend that you bit more independant and start going out (with your friends) and doing things of interest to you. That way you do not overwhelm him with your needs. Give him some space and time to miss you and recognise that you are important to him.
H
Hi Michelle,
You can tell if someone means what they say if they back up their words with actions and attitude.
H