Best Marriage Advice for Newlyweds: An Ultimate Guide – Save My Marriage

Marriage Advice for Newlyweds Introduction

Getting married is one of the most exciting times in a couple’s life. You’ve found your soulmate, planned a beautiful wedding, and are ready to start your lives together. However, once the honeymoon phase is over, the real work begins.

Marriage takes effort, compromise, and commitment from both partners. While you’re still basking in newlywed bliss, it’s wise to learn from those who have gone before you. Take heart in their stories and apply their marriage advice for newlyweds to give your relationship the best chance of thriving for a lifetime.

In this comprehensive guide, we’ve gathered wise words from real couples married for decades. You’ll discover practical tips on communication, conflict resolution, finances, intimacy, and more. We’ll also share advice on maintaining your individuality and pursuing personal growth as your lives intertwine.

Why Marriage Advice for Newlyweds Matters

With the divorce rate hovering around 50%, marriages clearly face challenges. While you can’t control everything, research shows small changes make a big difference.

According to relationship scientist Dr. John Gottman, little things predict whether couples will go the distance. The key is building your “marital friendship”. When spouses know each other intimately and are committed to mutual goals, they can weather ups and downs.

This means advice for newlyweds on building habits of kindness, generosity, and respect matters. Big gestures are great, but consistent small acts of love sustain relationships long-term.

25 Best Pieces of Marriage Advice for Newlyweds

Here are top tips for newlyweds to help you lay a strong foundation and cultivate an unbreakable bond as you embark on your marriage journey together.

1. Enter Marriage with Realistic Expectations

You may have dreamed of the perfect romance since childhood. Real life is different than the movies, however.

According to marriage researcher Dr. Ted Huston, how you think marriage will be influences your actual marital experience. If your expectations are too high or low, you’re prone to disappointment.

Have open and honest talks about what you each envision for your roles, responsibilities, connection, finances, intimacy, parenting (if applicable), and more. Recognize you each bring different family experiences that shape your views on marriage.

Come to a shared understanding by voicing mutual hopes while keeping realistic attitudes.

2. Learn Your Partner’s Love Language

People give and receive love in different ways. Once you know your partner’s “love language,” you can purposefully convey love in ways most meaningful to them.

The five love languages identified by marriage counselor Dr. Gary Chapman are:

Words of Affirmation – Verbal praise and appreciation
Acts of Service – Doing thoughtful things for your partner
Receiving Gifts – Symbolic presents convey thoughtfulness
Quality Time – Giving your full presence and attention
Physical Touch – Affectionate contact like hugs, hand-holding

Take the love languages quiz together to reveal your top languages. Then make a commitment to regularly speaking your spouse’s language. This simple practice can boost intimacy and happiness.

3. Communicate Openly and Often

It’s commonly said marriage takes “work.” More specifically, it takes communication work. Couples must develop skills to express themselves openly, listen deeply, understand each other’s viewpoints, and resolve conflicts in a healthy manner.

Set aside uninterrupted time for heart-to-heart talks.
Discuss hopes, fears, and anything on your mind.
When disagreements happen, stay calm and focus on solutions.
Don’t hesitate to seek counseling to improve communication.

The ability to share authentically, compromise, and reconcile paves the way for a strong, lifelong partnership.

4. Forge Intimacy and Connection

In the flurry of newlywed bliss and activities, don’t forget to nurture intimacy. The secret of couples who go the distance is prioritizing time to connect.

Schedule regular date nights with zero distractions.
Initiate sex and affection often.
Share meaningful conversations, memories, dreams.
Limit technology when you’re together.
Go for walks, exercise as a couple, cook meals together.
Get away on weekends alone when possible.

Finding activities you enjoy together and reserving private time maintains closeness. This builds a reserve of positive interactions to sustain you through busier seasons.

5. Divide Household Responsibilities

It’s no secret housework and childcare often become points of contention. Eliminate arguments by deciding who will handle what tasks.

Split chores based on personal preferences and time availability. Trade off things neither of you likes. Outsource help if needed. Apps like Cozi Family Organizer help you stay coordinated.

Review responsibilities occasionally and adjust to accommodate changing circumstances like jobs, kids, etc. Maintaining an equitable division prevents resentment.

6. Manage Finances Wisely

Money conflicts frequently arise when financial styles and expectations differ. To avoid clashes:

Disclose debts, assets, incomes, spending habits, and financial goals.
Discuss whether to combine accounts or maintain some separate.
Agree on who will handle tasks like bill-paying and filing taxes.
Set a household budget accounting for joint and individual expenses. Apps like You Need a Budget help.
Don’t make major purchases without mutual consent.

Ongoing transparency and accountability regarding finances pave the way for security and harmony.

7. Allow Each Other to Change

It’s inevitable you and your partner will grow and evolve over the decades. Your interests, goals, beliefs, habits, and personalities may shift.

Rather than resisting changes, embrace them. View transformations as opportunities to continually get to know your spouse. default to curiosity rather than criticism.

Remember you married someone inquisitive, not static. Give each other space to explore new directions. Support one another’s personal growth, even when paths diverge.

8. Fight Fair During Disagreements

Every couple argues sometimes. How you fight matters more than what you fight over. To fight fair:

Avoid criticism, contempt, and insults.
Don’t yell, threaten, or call names.
Discuss one issue at a time.
Use “I” statements rather than “you” accusations.
Listen sincerely to understand your partner’s perspective.
If things escalate, take a break and revisit once calm.
Compromise and seek solutions, not blame.

Developing these conflict resolution skills in the early years prevents destructive communication patterns from developing.

9. Nurture Your Own Interests

Along with togetherness, allowing individual pursuits strengthens marriages. Enjoy hobbies, friendships, and activities apart. Support your partner doing the same.

Don’t automatically default to doing everything as a pair.
Respect each other’s need for autonomy at times.
Take separate vacations or nights out with friends periodically.
Set boundaries regarding how much time you spend separately.
Come together to discuss experiences apart which builds appreciation.

By maintaining outside interests and relationships, you continue growing as individuals. This prevents your identities from becoming enmeshed and keeps your marriage vibrant.

10. Determine Shared Values and Goals

The glue cementing a marriage long-term is shared values and visions for the future. As your lives interweave, openly discuss:

Personal convictions and ethics
Views on cultural issues
Hopes for children and parenting approaches
Where and how you wish to live
Important milestones you aim to reach

Understand how your individual backgrounds shape your beliefs. Find common ground, and craft a shared mission statement encompassing mutual hopes and dreams.

11. Commit to Keeping Promises

Early on, establish yourselves as reliable partners who honor commitments, both major and minor. This builds the trust essential to a happy union.

If you say you’ll do something, follow through.
Avoid breaking promises unless absolutely unavoidable.
Give advance notice if you can’t deliver as planned.
Offer a sincere apology along with remedy if you let your partner down.

Making your spouse your top priority over work, friends, hobbies shows them they come first in your world.

12. Cultivate Mutual Respect

While newlyweds often feel infatuated during the honeymoon phase, these intense emotions evolve into a deeper bond of commitment. This requires mutual care and respect.

Express appreciation for your partner’s positive qualities and efforts.
Be supportive when they share problems or seek growth.
Never insult, ridicule, or intentionally embarrass them.
Honor each other’s opinions and differences.
Avoid directing anger or aggression toward one another.

Treating your spouse with genuine esteem provides an unshakable foundation during the peaks and valleys of married life.

13. Cherish Shared Laughter

Humor goes hand-in-hand with longevity in relationships. Couples who laugh together regularly cope better with stressors and form deeper attachments.

Tell jokes and funny stories from your day.
Watch amusing shows and movies together.
Bring levity to lighten tense situations.
Use pet names and inside jokes.
Spend time around witty friends and family who make you laugh.

The joy and intimacy created through regular shared laughter are priceless gifts.

14. Say “Thank You” and “Sorry”

Basic courtesies like expressing gratitude and apologies may wane between partners as familiarity breeds a sense of entitlement. Resist this drift by:

Thanking your spouse for everyday efforts, not just grand gestures.
Apologizing for mistakes and hurting their feelings.
Letting go of grudges when your partner says sorry.
Reconciling fully after fights rather than holding resentments.

These simple phrases, backed by sincerity, heal wounds allowing you to move forward unified.

15. Pray Together

If you share religious beliefs, make spiritual practices part of your marriage foundation. Faith offers many benefits:

Praying together deepens intimacy and understanding.
Reading spiritual texts and attending services reinforces values.
Serving others as a couple expands your worldview.
Sharing spiritual rituals like blessings creates meaning.
Turning to faith during trials provides comfort and strength.

For many, nurturing a mutual spiritual life is key to strengthening all aspects of marriage.

16. Allow Each Other Imperfections

During the honeymoon period, you likely see your spouse through rose-colored glasses. Eventually, you’ll become aware of their flaws.

Rather than constantly critiquing their shortcomings, show mercy and acceptance. Focus on virtues rather than imperfections. Avoid keeping score regarding who does more or who is more at fault during trials.

Everyone carries weaknesses along with strengths into marriage. Allowing room for both is vital.

17. Schedule Regular Check-Ins

In the midst of busy lives, make time for relationship tune-ups:

Set a recurring time each week to talk about how things are going.
Gently share issues needing attention before resentments build.
Celebrate things you appreciate about one another.
Brainstorm ideas for improving any rough spots.
Take turns voicing worries and listening without judgment.

Periodic emotional check-ins safeguard your most precious relationship.

18. Seek Counsel When Needed

Pride sometimes deters couples from seeking outside support when problems arise. Yet research confirms professional marriage counseling often helps:

Counselors teach communication and conflict resolution skills.
They provide objective perspectives you may lack.
They assign constructive experiments to improve relating.
Getting support shows your mutual commitment.

Don’t wait until major crises hit. Consider periodic tune-ups to make a good marriage great.

19. Discuss Managing Extended Family

Artfully balancing relationships with in-laws and relatives while nurturing your own bond presents a learning curve. To ease tensions:

Agree on how much time to spend with each family, especially holidays.
Discuss etiquette like whether in-laws should call before visiting.
Share ways each other’s families push “buttons” and how to lovingly respond.
Support each other’s needs, not just your own preferences.
Set boundaries gently but firmly when needed.

Learning to blend families while keeping your marriage priority fosters harmony.

20. Allow Each Other Some Autonomy

Alone time is as important as togetherness. Without it, you risk your identities becoming indistinguishable.

Spend time apart pursuing personal interests.
Go on periodic trips or outings separately.
Don’t insist on parallel hobbies or friend groups.
Avoid jealousy regarding independent activities.
Come together afterward to reconnect and share experiences.

Balancing personal freedom with commitment nurtures lasting love.

21. Share The Mental Load

In addition to household chores like cooking and cleaning, there’s a less visible realm of emotional and mental tasks called the mental load. This refers to remembering and planning everything from social engagements to car maintenance.

Imbalances in managing the mental load strain marriages. Combat this by:

Making long-term plans and calendars together.
Dividing emotional tasks like gift-buying, travel planning, keeping in touch with relatives.
Sharing the job of researching options for purchases, doctors, schools, etc.
Reminding each other of commitments gently to lighten the planning burden.

Develop awareness of this critical yet often overlooked realm. Strive to balance it mutually.

22. Keep Sex a Priority

When the passion of the honeymoon phase inevitably cools, don’t resign yourselves to a lack-luster sex life. Prioritize intimacy by:

Scheduling sex so it doesn’t get crowded out by other obligations.
Trying new romantic experiences together to spice things up.
Sharing your sexual wishes, needs, and boundaries openly.
Making time for sensual activities like massages that lead to sex.
Flirting throughout the day to build anticipation.

Couples who sustain an active, adventuresome sex life enjoy greater closeness and satisfaction.

23. Allow Each Other to Vent

Everyone needs to blow off steam by complaining now and then. Don’t react defensively when your spouse vents to you.

Be quick to listen, slow to interject your perspective.
Express empathy without immediately problem-solving.
Ask follow up questions to better understand their frustrations.
Offer a hug and reassurance their feelings are valid.

Providing a safe space for your partner to share uncensored emotions is a gift.

24. Take Responsibility for Mistakes

Owning up to mistakes rather than making excuses strengthens marriages.

Apologize sincerely without adding “buts.”
Take initiative to make amends when possible.
Explain how you’ll avoid repeating the offense.
Let go of errors once forgiveness is granted.
Refrain from drudging up the past during future disputes.

Admitting imperfections demonstrates maturity while building trust.

25. Keep Falling in Love

Finally, in the midst of hectic schedules, stressful jobs, colicky babies, financial concerns, and other demands seek to perpetually fall deeper in love.

Schedule regular dates focused on fun and romance.
Write old-fashioned love letters.
Post inspirational quotes about relationships around your home.
Compliment each other’s appearance daily.
Say “I love you” when parting and reuniting.
Massage away each other’s tension after a long day.

Small gestures that say “you’re my priority” keep love alive.

Key Takeaways for a Strong Marriage Foundation

While applying even a few of these tips lays a sturdy foundation, mastering several certain ones cements lifelong bliss:

Maintain realistic expectations. Avoid projecting fairy tales onto marriage and embrace real life.
Learn each other’s love language. Speak your partner’s language consistently.
Develop communication skills. The ability to discuss anything openly and resolve conflicts healthily is essential.
Allow each other to grow. Embrace growth and view it as adding depth to your marriage.
Fight fair. Master arguing without contempt, criticism, or betrayal of trust.
Nurture intimacy. Make time for activities that enhance sexual and emotional closeness.
Agree on core values and goals. Share a vision for your future together.
Infuse your partnership with laughter and gratitude. A daily dose of humor and appreciation blends all ingredients seamlessly.

Final Thoughts

We hope these slices of wisdom from veteran couples equip you to start strong and go the distance. Every marriage hits rough patches at times. During struggles, revisit these tips to recalibrate your connection.

While passion naturally evolves into peaceful companionship, don’t resign yourself to a mediocre marriage. By regularly and intentionally adding in doses of fun, empathy, intimacy, admiration, collaboration, and commitment, you’ll keep your relationship fresh and fulfilling.

Marriage offers the precious gift of a lifelong partner to share all of lifes experiences with. Invest in it wisely and generously, and it will reward you with joy for years to come. We wish you a long and happy union!