Are you having relationship problems like Julie?
Nothing she does seem to be able to satisfy her long time boyfriend Jake. He always criticise, quarrel or picks at her and what she does. Having this type of relationship problem can drive you mad.
What can you do if it seems that you can never please your partner. You do everything you can think of and yet it never enough. Here are several things you can do if you are having this type of relationship issue.
- Find an appropiate time and tell him or her that because the relationship is important to you, you would really like to make him/her happy. Timing is important because there may be times when they are either in a hurry or simple grumpy. I know that the worst time of the day to approach me to talk about anything is when I am ready to go to sleep.
- Ask him/her to give 3 things you can do to at least make him/her smile or feel that the relationhips is improving
- If the person won’t open up to you find a trusted mutual friend and ask them to find out what you can do to recapture your partners heart.
- Make a list of things that you have done in the past that made your partner very happy and try doing them again. You must have been doing something before that made them fall in love with you. Nobody chooses to get into a relationship with someone else who is going to make them miserable. Most people love and commit to someone else who is making them feel happy, loved, esteem and great. Try and remember that little things you use to do and start doing them again
- Write down things that your spouse is saying about you and what you do that makes them upset and avoid doing them. It is very important to your relationship that you not only hear what your spouse is saying but you actually listen to the feelings behind the words. If you begin to avoid what upsets, or frustrate him/her your relationship problems will begin to improve tremendously.
- Ask yourself everyday – What can I do today to bring a smile to may partners face. It might be a simple think like telling or reminding that they mean the world to you, giving them a non sexual kiss/peck/pinch etc. Or it could be sending a text or taking them for a walk. Believe me joy can begin to rain in your problematic relationship.
- Realize that you need to have clear boundaries about how far you go to try and please someone. Sometimes just being able to be assertive and be clear about how far you are able to go to please someone is enough for them to recognise that you will not be a door mat. You will try to make them happy but you too have needs that should be supplied. A great example of this is the movie “Fried green tomatoes” (a weird name). In it a house wife is forever trying to appeal and please her husband, however when she got to the point where she gives up and began doing things for herself he suddenly should great interest in her.
- Finally recognise and accept that there are some people who are perfectionist and can never be pleased.
If you want practical and easy to implement solutions to relationship problems then check out this powerful, solution packed resource.