How can you tell if you boyfriend is really into you? Is he playing games, messing around, taking you for a ride or does he really genuinely love you?
Here are 12 ways to tell if your boyfriend really loves you or is “just not into you”:
- He would warmly, admiringly and longingly look into your eyes, face and body from time to time.
- He would go out of his way to do little things to bring a smile on your face and make you feel happy (anything from sticking a note in your bag, buying a funny little toy or turning up on your door steps when you least expect him to).
- He would be always talking about you to his friends and family or anyone who would care to listen. Interestingly he would make you to be larger than life — Gods gift to the earth. These people will mention that they have heard about you when they meet you.
- He would want to introduce you and show you off to his friends, family and the whole world — you would be like his little trophy.
- He would always want to be with you or around you and hardly want to leave when its time for him to go.
- He hates it when people talk negatively about you and would defend you to the point of physically fighting to defend your reputation (hopefully it never comes to this. Don’t always depend on this as a proof of love).
- He avoids hurting you and if he unwittingly hurts you he apologises profusely and attempt never to let it happen again.
- Comments on how lucky he is to get a girl like you in his life.
- Compliments the way you look, the things you do and the skill/talents you display.
- Wants the best for you and encourages you to grow and develop so that you can become the best you can be.
- He is not afraid to challenge you when you are wrong or doing something that isn’t right.
- He calls, text, IM and want to meeting up with you as regularly as he can.
Ps. I just remember a couple more
- He wants know (in direct and discreet ways) what you think about him, how he looks and what he does.
- He seeks your advice and suggestions on things he is doing and decisions he wants to make.
- He takes your advice/suggestions and implements them.
- He is polite to your friends and respects your parents.
Me and my boyfriend have been going out since 09,but the problem is,he has this best friend.He always hangs out with her,they send each other pictures..But,he kisses me and tells me that he loves me and im just confused…and a little jelous.Please help me..
confused and jelous.
Hi Michelle
My Boyfriend dues half of what you said or more; however, how do you know that he really, truly, with all his heart, loves you. Like I know some guys how say it and don’t mean it but what makes the guys how say it to you and really mean it from their heart. My boyfriend tells me most of the time he loves me after I say it he have only twice he loves me before I say I love him. I don’t know if that matters but to me it feels like is should not be like that. I could be wrong like most of the time but this time I don’t think this time I am.
Hi Confused and Jealous,
Do you feel that this friend is a threat to your relationship? Seems to me that you think he should be spending more time with you and sending you pictures – and you are right. Have you spoken to him about how you feel about this? Start by doing so.
Hilton
Hi Confused and Jealous,
Do you feel that this friend is a threat to you relationship? Seems to me that you think he should be spending more time with you and sending you pictures – and you are right. Have you spoken to him about how you feel about this? Start by doing so.
Hilton
Hi, Hilton.
Me and bf have been together for 4 months. They have been good, but there was a time when he use to tell me I was his everything and he never wants anyone else just me, we had plans for our future. But now all he ever says is how he is gonna date all these other girls. And it hurts, because I can’t even mention other guys name without him getting mad. I don’t know what to do, he use to make me feel so special and wanted now I just feel lke just other one of his girls </3. Plz help me.
hi i been dating my boyfriend for 2 months and we were good until school started when i would put in effort for a date he would say i cant im doing my hwk saying his education is my important i txt him all the time and he is the one who wanted to go out with me i confronted him he said he was really busy and i am too i havent seen him in 1 month i love him and dont want break it up what should i do i know his education is important but i want to see him once every two weeks and when i told him tht he said it was hard to do
Hello, i been with my bf for about 6months now, he works a lot is always busy, but im with him all the time, when he can he always plan a tiny vacation, but always inviting friends in our vacations and maybe only one day is for the both of us, I dont drink alcohol so when we go out with a group of friends he always ask them if they want something to drink before he ask me, he complements girls in front of me, when he wake up, he kiss me ones in a while, he never had said i love you but i never had said it either, we dont fight, but he is not affectionate, i’m wasting my time ? I love him im just scared that im going to say I LOVE YOU and he wont say it back.
Andrea
Hye..so me and my boyfriend has been together since 11 April last year…he was just like all of the things stated above..but few months ago his been changing to another person..it’s like the guy I fell in love with is gone..he used to ask for my opinion but nowdays he dosent….he used to call me beautiful all the time…I never get bored of that…but now his been changing…and I miss the old him! I want my dream guy again…but his a total different person now…my friends advised me to break up with him…all of them…they used to respect me and tell me that I’m lucky to get a guy like him…now they just hate him…it’s saddening…I’m confused and I don’t know what to do…oh and his been changing since his cousin brother stayed with him which is on may 2012…help me I need advise! His getting worse and I can’t let go off him! I love him soo much! :'(
Hi Kavina,
The best approach is to step back and give hime some space. You do not have to end the relationship, basically don’t give more than you are getting from the relationship. Let him get some time and space to miss you and what you have to offer too
Hilton
Hi Andrea,
Your bf seems to be a bit unaware of how you feel and maybe he needs to become more informed on romantic and relationship skills.
In your case I would suggest that you shouldn’t be afraid to express your feelings as you should love him unconditionally – without strings attached – this may help him to start to show more of his vulnerable, romantic and affectionate side.
It may be that he has never learnt how to do this.
Hilton
Nicole,
As hard as this may seems it is best to support him in his studies and not push so hard. Pull back and wait for him to come to you again
Hilton
Hi Alexia,
First you need to be clear about your principles. If you do not want to be like one of the other girls – DO NOT ACCEPT IT.
Be prepared to leave the relationship if it comes to. If you don’t make your position clear he will continue treat you like rubbish and he will eventually dump you. Even if he leaves because of your standard he will still have respect for you
Hilton
hello, I have a boyfriend and he likes to hold my hand and touch my legs or my butt.The problem is people are telling him that I’m cheating on him or they tell me that he is cheating on me. Well i think they are rumors but I don’t know and i feel like im losing him now to someone else……PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME
i appreciate the advice im trying my hardest to stay strong it is really hard i feel sad alot of times when im busy or not any ideas to get rid the sadness is tht normal?
Fonera
hye,,, I have a boyfriend, n i do love him so much , past few days, his calls and msgs have reduced , and v did discuss about it , and he says , i m happy with you, i got no prb with that. but m not sure y i feel upset,i wish to be closer to him … and i wish he would be like before. is there any way to capture his attention again ? should i give him sum space ? or should i wait till he texts me or call me ? what am i to do ?
I love him so much but i don’t really know he love too becuse when we Fait he use a bad word and every time he use to tell me that he is happy when he is brokup with me but i can’t becuose i love him more than anything plzzzzzz guys help me what i have to do?
Well, I have a boyfriend. We have been together for two years, long time , huh? I love him deeply. There is a small problem though, he has been texting other girls and saying we aren’t dating. I only know he’s done that twice. I don’t know if he has done it more than that. I hope not. He tells me he loves me with all of his heart. He has cheated on me in the past and has apologized about it and said he would never do it again but he still does. How am I supposed to know if he actually loves me when he tells me he loves me one second but another second someone’s tellig me he is cheating. I’m only 12 and we have spoken about having a future together but how can we if I don’t know if he is cheating or not. Please someone give me some advise. I love him so much and I don’t wanna lose him!
My man does all the things listed on the list. He even asked me to marry him. I still find myself asking myself does he really truly loves me like he say he do.
well found out my boyfriend did have his phone never txted me for 3 weeks so sadly broke up with him in ignoring me did i make the right decision?
Hi Kiwi,
Is there any valid reason to doubt that he does?
H
Hi Kiwi,
Is there any valid reason to doubt that he does? Has he done something that makes you believe that he doesn’t?
H
Hi Kiwi,
Has he done something that makes you believe that he is not genuine about his declaration of love?
H
Kayley,
I understand that you have deep feelings however I would break the relationship off as he has proved that he cannot be trusted. By the way 12 is too young to be committing to a relationship.
H
Kayley,
I understand that you have deep feelings however I would break the relationship off as he has proved that he cannot be trusted. By the way 12 is too young to be committing to a relationship, you do need to focus on building a foundation for life ahead e.g school and career.
H
Han you sound desperate. Desperation tend to make people vulnerable to abuse. You need to start managing your emotions as this would make you more attractive and less needy
H
Han
You sound desperate. Desperation tends to make people vulnerable to abuse. In fact you can be seen as needy and clingy, which drives people away/ You need to start managing your emotions as this would make you more attractive and less needy
H
Loshny,
While you should let him know how you feel, also always let him know that he is free to go at any time. You may also want to give him space and not obsess about the lack of calls and text.
This will send the impression that you are not clingy or needy.
H
Loshny,
While you should let him know how you feel, also always let him know that he is free to go at any time. You may also want to give him space and not obsess about the lack of calls and text.
This will send the impression that you are not clingy or needy. It may not be easy how it sure does help to improve respect for you.
H
Hi Nichole,
Sadness is a natural emotion when we lose someone or something. However if you are sad for long periods of time then you may want to see a professional about that. You may want to also take up some hobby that you are interested in and recreation that you like.
Hilton
Hi Lyn,
Sounds as if you have some trust issue going on in your relationship. You both need to discuss if someone is deliberately trying to sabotage the relationship and what you can do to combat that. One thing is to try and identify who the culprit is and disassociate yourself with him or her.
Do reaffirm that you are committed and would like to do everything to make it work.
Never beg or plead. Always give the person the option to leave even when this is not what you really want.
H
Hi Lyn,
Sounds as if you have some trust issue going on in your relationship. You both need to discuss if someone is deliberately trying to sabotage the relationship and what you can do to combat that. One thing is to try and identify who the culprit is and disassociate yourself with him or her.
Do reaffirm that you are committed and would like to do everything to make it work. Never beg or plead. Always give the person the option to leave even when this is not what you really want.
H
Hi Lyn,
Sounds as if you have some trust issue going on in your relationship. You both need to discuss if someone is deliberately trying to sabotage the relationship and what you can do to combat that. One thing is to try and identify who the culprit is and disassociate yourself with him or her.
Do reaffirm that you are committed and would like to do everything to make it work. Never beg or plead. Always give the person the option to leave even when this is not what you really want.
H
Ps: Remember that you can never control what other people think and believe, but you can behave in a way that has integrity
Hi Lyn,
Sounds as if you have some trust issue going on in your relationship. You both need to discuss if someone is deliberately trying to sabotage the relationship and what you can do to combat that. One thing is to try and identify who the culprit is and disassociate yourself with him or her.
Do reaffirm that you are committed and would like to do everything to make it work. Never beg or plead. Always give the person the option to leave even when this is not what you really want. Remember that you can never control what other people think and believe, but you can behave in a way that has integrity
H
Hi Nicole,
I cannot tell you what is wrong or right, however this move sent a clear signal to him about what you will not tolerate. If he chooses to get back with you he will be very clear about that issue. Be open to negotiation however maintain high principles at all time
H
so last year my BFF was going out with this guy named colby, and i was datinganother guy and these 2 fought. colby one and jordan lost and the 1st time i seen colby i was like “damn that boy is fine” but i couldnt say anything cause brianna was dating him. well now as of a week ago me and colby started dating, hes so nice and theres so many people that look at me like im on drugs cause im dating him. but hes amazing! weve talked about sex and he aint gonna pressure me, but most of my exes would have. im so happy and so is he but i think i ruined a freindshipnwith brianna…..
HI Tori
Some people say that you should not date your friend’s ex for this very reason. It can get a bit messy.
H
Hello, I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 1/2 years now and the whole time we have been together i have been in school and working full time and he has been just going to school and living off student loans so majority of the time I have payed for everything for us like food and movies, ect and he would pay when he could only sometimes though. But my boyfriend just graduated and is not working because he still has to take his final exam to be able to get his degree. So While i am at school and work all day with the money he does have he spends going golfing and hanging out with his friends. And I still pay for food and all the activities we do together because he says he has no money. Lately i have been getting really irritated because my boyfriend never does anything cute for me he hardly texts me through the day says we don’t need to talk every 5 seconds and he is busy doing things. I feel like i am not appreciated for what i do for him since i love him i go buy him new clothes to surprise him ect. I feel as though he does not love me or want to really be with me but im really the first girl friend he has ever had. Every time i ask him if he really wants to be with me or if we have a future together he tells if he didn’t see any of that in the future he wouldn’t even be wasting his time with me which i mean makes sense but sometimes he can be cute but he just doesn’t show me ever that he loves me. And he says its because that’s not how he is he was raised by just his dad and has no family near where we live so he says he is just not an affectionate person. I am so confused on if he really loves me and wants to be with me because i feel as though he does nothing on your list above but when i ask him it seems like he does. Please help me try to understand if he really wants to be with me or not?
I keeP trying to leave a comment but I’m not sure if it’s letting me it showed up after I submitted it but now it’s gone?
im having trouble i broke up with my boyfriend sadly because he has been ignoring my txt and calls but now im sad and miss him i know i should move i want to talk to him my friends gave me advice to go see him at qt and talk to him but he know nothing about it i just want to talk to him but i think i might get hurt worse
ive been going with my boyfriend for 2 half yrs, i trust him 100% but lately he always going out and getting drunk with his friends. and when i ask him to see me he makes crap excuses and barley ever tells me he loves me anymore, we argue all the time about stupid stuff like not seeing each other, like he would never compliment me or nhn. i dont wanna loose him. ive tried talking to him about it and he just doesnt seem to care, when i ask him to do something he like no ive no money but yet when his friends ask him he can efford to go out and spend money on alochol. what shall i do??
I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 months. I love him so much. He has a form of autism that he has to take medicine for. Sometimes, this medicine makes him a little depressed and sometimes it makes him more hyper than usual. The other day, I was at his house and he seemed very upset. He was texting this other girl I know who is very outgoing and beautiful. He then accused me of being boring. I knew he was joking, but it still hurt. Lately, whenever we’re texting at before bed, I tell him I love him and he says, “You too ;)” But, whenever we’re talking and I say something he finds cute, he says he loves me. I just feel like he is using me to cheer himself up and taking me for granted. But, he still hung out with me when I was sick yesterday. He even pulled me onto him and kissed me while I was sleeping. Oh, and he also introduces me to his friends and family like I am a celebrity. I’m worried he thinks I’m boring. Do you think his medicine is the only reason for his mood swings?
MY OWN DOES ALL OF THE ABOVE MENTIONED. I THINK HE REALLY LOVES ME BUT HE ASKED ME TO MEET HER MUM BUT AM AFRAID COX HER MUM IS ALWAYS HARSH ON SOMEBODY. TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD DO. PLS.
i am a bit confused here, i have not physically cheated on my guy, or i dont know how to explain it, had one guy on fb, i spoke to him about my guy told him How much I love my guy, I had no wrong intentions at all, just that this guy kept on asking me to show him my boobs etc, I said no but I still continued chatting with him about other general things, but he constantly kept on asking me to show my stuff on webcam, and then I got fedup and deleted him, but after a few months, my guy read our chats,.he was almost going to dump me, but I told him I dint cheat on him or exposed myself in anyway, now what my problem is, he just recently added this girl on fb, and he chats with her on a regular basis, he was trying to explain something to here where she replied saying you explain so well, im sure you will be a great father some day, and he goes like oh I hope your not taking me that way cuz those are not my intentions, and then she said she had to go sleep and all that see u later alligator and he goes like in a while cockadile lol….oh I mean crocodile…..he does all the above things you have mentioned and we are getting married soon, am I right buy feeling that we both don’t feel we are enough for each other? 🙁
Hi Jenna,
Interesting situation. Ususally when people are looking to get married they have “eyes” only for theie fiance.
What seems to be happening in your case is that you both seem open to the advances of other people. Maybe you are not meeting all the major emotional needs of each other. You might want to discuss this and commit to doing that.
Hilton
Hi Jessica,
Just to say that you seem to be carrying the relationship. Although you love him to bits you need to let him make some effort in the relationship. To do this back off a little. If he doesn’t call you, don’t call him. Don’t take him out and pay, let him ask you out and pay. If he doesn’t take you out go out by yourself or with your friends.
Hard to do but the best way to get your power
Hilot
Dancing girl
Its still early days in your relationsship and it would be hard to tell until you spend enough time getting to know each other more. Give it some more time (6 or more months) before you begin to make sweeping judgements
Hilton
Nichole
If you want to talk to him you can, it doesn’t mean you have to rush back into a full relationship immediately
Hilton
Hi
He is making choices that no only damage his health but will have serious knock on effect on you. You need to decided if you can live with someone who might become an addict and would care more for his addiction than you
Hilton
I am not sure what is happening. I have seen some of your comments and have replied, however because of my schedule it make time a couple of days before I respond
Hope that helps
Hilton
I am dating a guy he don’t want anyone to know that we dating what to i do and how do i know that he love me