How can you tell if you boyfriend is really into you? Is he playing games, messing around, taking you for a ride or does he really genuinely love you?
Here are 12 ways to tell if your boyfriend really loves you or is “just not into you”:
- He would warmly, admiringly and longingly look into your eyes, face and body from time to time.
- He would go out of his way to do little things to bring a smile on your face and make you feel happy (anything from sticking a note in your bag, buying a funny little toy or turning up on your door steps when you least expect him to).
- He would be always talking about you to his friends and family or anyone who would care to listen. Interestingly he would make you to be larger than life — Gods gift to the earth. These people will mention that they have heard about you when they meet you.
- He would want to introduce you and show you off to his friends, family and the whole world — you would be like his little trophy.
- He would always want to be with you or around you and hardly want to leave when its time for him to go.
- He hates it when people talk negatively about you and would defend you to the point of physically fighting to defend your reputation (hopefully it never comes to this. Don’t always depend on this as a proof of love).
- He avoids hurting you and if he unwittingly hurts you he apologises profusely and attempt never to let it happen again.
- Comments on how lucky he is to get a girl like you in his life.
- Compliments the way you look, the things you do and the skill/talents you display.
- Wants the best for you and encourages you to grow and develop so that you can become the best you can be.
- He is not afraid to challenge you when you are wrong or doing something that isn’t right.
- He calls, text, IM and want to meeting up with you as regularly as he can.
Ps. I just remember a couple more
- He wants know (in direct and discreet ways) what you think about him, how he looks and what he does.
- He seeks your advice and suggestions on things he is doing and decisions he wants to make.
- He takes your advice/suggestions and implements them.
- He is polite to your friends and respects your parents.
i have a boy friend and i don’t want anyone to know that we are dating ??
what do i doing
My boyfriend Jesse and I have been together for almost four years now and he does not do ANY of this stuff anymore. We have a daughter (10 months) and it just seems like he doesn’t love me anymore. He has already admit that he is no longer in love with me. I still do everything I can to get him to be in love with me but he is mean and it upsets me untill i can’t take it anymore. I explode! Than he ends up calling me names and talking about leaving. We don’t fight infront of my daughter, but I just feel like he doesn’t love me anymore because he just doesng show it anymore. He’s not the same Jesse I used to have.
My boyfriend and I have been knowing each other for 3years now. We have broken up twice. This is our 3rd time getting back together. Before we got back together we started talking as friends for 4 months, then before you know it we was back together. Our relationship is great now. We have been together for 7 months now and still counting. But the thing is how do I know he loves me or scared to tell me he loves me? He has told me that he have had his heart broken twice. And I have been by his side since day one. I haven’t giving him any reason to not trust me. We both trust each other, we spend a lot of time with each other, majority of his family know me and like me, we have that we are in a relationship together on facebook, we have pictures of us kissing and holding each other on there to, and we are not having sex. My friend was asking him about a ring for me and he states that hes the man with the plan. And when he talks about the future sometimes he puts me in his future without me eveb saying something about it. I just wanna know why is he scared to love me because i could never hurt him without hurting myself. If you ask him if hes in love with me he will say no, but he care about me a lot. Plaease answer this for me. Thank you.
Hi Brienna,
Given all that you said it seems to me that your boyfriend is clearly into you. Maybe him saying “I Love you” is like him giving the final and total sign of committing (kind of like saying “I Do”). He m,ay not be ready for it just yet.
Be patient
H
Hi Destiny,
Its natural sometimes to lose feelings when you are in long term relationship, but it does not meant that all is lost. Its important not to over react as this will only make things worst. Sometimes giving him some space and concentrating on building up your self e.g. doing something educational, finding a hobby, going with your friends and even volunteering. These will help you to boost your confidence and make you more attractive again.
H
Hi Realynn,
Usually when someone behaves like this it can be that they are already in another relationship or they are ashamed of being with you. If that is the case you will need to decide if you want to be a secret lover or not
H
I got out of along term relationship I’m still in love with my ex. I took time out for me I met this guy almost a yr later I really like him and I know he loves me we have been haven some trust issues and every time he lies to me or something I have flash back about my ex I’m still trying to get over him the new one makes me happy for the most part and I want things to work he has lack of communication so it makes things harder and honestly in the back of my mind I want me ex back wat should I do.
hi, i have been with my boyfriend for 7 years since we were in high school and he cheated on me twice at the start. a year in there was love letters and pretty cards and taking me out to meet his friends and family that was great! but he never seemed to want to be around my friends and i slowly drifted from them, with him only wanting to be around me. but another 2 years in and he decides to go to uni, when he was in uni i was in college full time then travelling up to meet him, during my time away from him, i learned he got close to another lady and was trying to be her best friend and i had found alot of messages from him talking to her and comforting her and one sexual message i had found shortly after that. i have loved this man for 7years and cannot see myself with anyone else and have been completely faithful to him.
but thats another story i suspect that he doesnt believe i have never had the urge to cheat in the 7years, i have given him my home with my mother since day one he could stay when ever he wanted but he chooses to stay all the time and i very rarely go to his house.
since he came back from uni and since i went mad at him for going behind my back he has been very cold and distant towards me focusing on (work) for 14hours a day then spending altogether about 4hours with me 7 days a week for 3 years with his own business working at my house.
the only time i get affection is when i ask for it or if he feels guilty. he also has anger control issues over silly small things or it could be a computer freezing then if i say anything at all i get the blame all the time.
he tells me im pretty around 3 times a week but i dont feel it anymore as i have lost my trust for him and am very paranoid and tense sometimes around him. he would give me about £30 every 2 weeks for items for myself from the money he was making, and this went on for a year and a half. but i dont believe that money can buy love. i also never hear about his fears or the emotional side of him. please tell me if this guy might be worth it i love him so much it kills me thinking about it. thank you!
ps. we are currently broke up for the past 4months as i dont know what to feel about him any-more and am very confused about my relationship without other opinion
before i met him, he always text me call me or meet me every time. even when his out with his friend he will tell me everything.. but since he had a new job, he keep avoiding me. he still text me, or even call me but we both actually didn’t meet much because his job or he don’t love me anymore.. he less talk or share with, every time i force him to tell me he said that i don’t want to hurt your feeling.. i do care about you, i’m just busy and i still planning to take care about you.. what i feel now is every guys can say that but is it true care about or just say it to make me happy.. i’m so confuse..
iv had a boyfriend for about 2 weeks and i understand he is shy but he never rilly talks to me to day he did but all he sed u look different with out eye liner whut dose that mean?
Okay so i’ve been dating my current boyfriend for almost 2 1/2 years and he told me he loves me. We have been engaged but then we broke it off during the summer because we didn’t think we belonged together. But early this august we got offically back together and we talk all the time but im afraid that he is cheating because during the summer he started talking to another girl (we didn’t offically break up during the summer) and he had told me he really started to like her because we tell each other EVERYTHING but he never lets me see his phone. He does all he can for me. He calls into work if i wanna see him, he walks me home from work at night when he lives like 20 miles away, he will ride his bike during the summer all the way to my house and back in one day ( which by the way is REALLY REALLY far) he buys me mins for my phone and the end of this month i’m moving in with him because im pregnant. Does he love me or do you think he just wants to stick around because im pregnant while he is messing around with some other chick?
I had a boyfriend who did all of the above…and he was cheating on me. All that stuff is really easy to fake.
I have been with my boyfriend for awhile now and im madly inlove with him, he does like quite a few about what you say it is if he cares but sometimes i feel like he doesnt how do i make myself understand he does. ive been hurt so many times and i feel like something is going to happen but i feel like if i keep this up that it could ruin us me not trusting him and thinking he really cares…. help me please
Hi kitty,
You may be emotionally attached to your ex, however I suggest you decide what is best for you based on your values and not your feelings
Hilton
Hi Mary,
I realize that this issue may be bugging you but I think the best thing right now is to give yourself a break and focus on going somewhere with your life. Start building your network of friends and family; start going out having fun; start a business or project; start volunteering and helping people.
You will begin to feel better about yourself and you will also become more attractive.
Hiltom
Hannay.
Men do go through cycles of love and withdrawal, the best thing to do at this point is to give him space and stop chasing him.
H
Victoria,
Why don’t you ask him what he means?
H
Shea
It sounds as if he is cares for you.
Why don’t you be honest with him and let him know that you feel vulnerable with that other person lurking in th background. Tell what would make you feel reassured and secure. This may help to bring clarity and comfort. be sure to include how much you appreciate the things he is doing
H
Nani
Yep con men know how to fake the genuine thing. However time will tell, so also give your relationship time to mature
H
Morgan,
You sound as if you have self esteem and confidence issues. You need to increase your self esteem and begin to show that you believe in your self. Also do not be afraid to assert yourself about how you feel and what you do not like. People will treat you the way you allow them to
H
My boyfriend loves me very much 🙂
He does EVERY one of those on the list plus more 🙂
I’m an expert on relationships, and to those out there who are scared that your partner is cheating, all you gotta do is grow some balls and ask them, if they are, then dump their sorry ass!
My boyfriend and I have been together for five years. We have broken up a few times. This last time seems to be better he now tells me he loves me. But this past weekend we went out with my girlfriend and he asked her to dance several times the last time she turned him down he got angry grabed her hip and said fuck off to her……. What dose this mean ??? Is he into her wants her?? Not happy with me?? Help please.
Roxanne
Does he have anger issues or was he a bit embarrassed> Did he dance only with your friend and not with you. If he did then that is very suspect?
Not sure why he would be wanting to dance with your friend several time except he was drunk. That is not ethical except he was trying to make you jealous
H
my bf is an awsm prsn…bt he forces me 2 kiss him…..he noes dat he can go no further….i luv him a lot………bt sum ppl tll me me dat hes just using me….my heart is not ready 2 belive it….n even he says dat all dose things oders r sayin….is he really usin me or not???? plzz help!
i m in a relationship about 6 years . i love him a lot but he cheated on me 2 times and always told me lie. he showed that he loved me but he cannot do anything to me. when i left him . He was emotionally break me and i m return what will b i do
My bfs name is Jon, he’s 15, and he lives in North Carolina,USA.
I’m Alli, 13, and I live in New York City.
We met on a chat room, and we decided to video chat like, 5 minutes into our conversation.
He’s incredibly cute and funny, and he seems to be intelligent (Both of us are homeschooled).
I always tell him I feel like I don’t deserve him. I also tell him that he deserves someone prettier than me.
When I do, he says “Theres no one better than you.” or he puts hearts (<3) and says "Shut up or I'll come up there and kiss you to death."
It seems like he loves me, and he tells me he does.
I just really don't know WHY he loves me.
Can you tell me how I can get it out of him?
Thanks
My boy friend is all that matters to me I find it okay for him to be friends with other girls but them calling him every day is to far I trust him but I just can’t trust the people he hangs out with I can’t bear to lose him I love him his smile wipes away the anger his laugh wipes away the pain the way he says I love you makes me get up everyday
Hi Alli
Maybe you need to focus on becoming more confident and accepting of you value and worth. Accept the fact the you have what it takes, however I feel that at your age you do need to avoid becoming involved and let it wait until you are much more mature and grown up
Hilton
Hi Ana
If trust us a deal breaker to you do not continue a relationship where you cannot trust the other person
hi,
um im nly in grade 6 and all my freinds think my boyfreind is madly in love with me! i really like him and may ven love him too but now theres thi other girl who is smarter and plays sports and he told me he hates her but im scared he might start to like her but i think im just over exsagarating what can i say or do to give her the hint to back off!
any advice will be highly apprecated
Hi Livvy
Sometime we worry about things that may not even happen. Worry will only cause you to be a miserable person which may drive him away to someone else who is cool and confident.
Hilton
..iv bn wit ma man fo 4 mnths now nd i feel duz luv mi but b/c of ma ‘bi-polar’ (wen i git scared nd unsure..i chng ma #…ive dun this ALOT..but we always end up sum how bak tugthr…but we hvnt argued (he says we have ‘misundrstndng’) but its ALWAYS about tha same thing…taking 30seconds out his day ta acknowledge mi (via txt or wutevr) ..his parents r both pastors nd he is tha oldest son nd he’s trying ta git his life tugthr (alcoholic) nd plus he has his music (producer)…bsds chior practice/church functions/family events etc etx…he duz tha best he can nd im undrstndng..he ALWAYS makes mi feel beautiful nd like tha only gurl n tha wrld wen he duz txt/call/spnd time w/mi (he lives on tha other side of tha island nd niether of us have a car tho he duz have access ta his family’s cars)…so bottom line is…is he feeling mi oram i a matter of convience??? please lmk…
..srry i ment ta say tht n tha 4 mnths we’ve bn tugthr we dnt argue…we have misundrstndng…he listens ta evrithing i tell him (i share stuff wit him tht i only tell God) …but its jus i feel so neglected wen he dsnt make an effort …like he’s not thinking of mi…nd it hurts….or am i being slfsh (on going arguement)
Well, ive been dating my boyfriend for about 1year and 7months now.. but theres a problem with all that, he says he “loves me” but still yet when im not with him or when i am he always on his phone and talking to other females and trying to get with them.. i dont know what to do? the females ask him “do you go a girlfriend” he denys it when they know he does.. he trys to go out with other females and at the same time to stay with me… he says he wants to be with me but i dont think he would change cause this has happen recently.. he talks to other girls in a different way in facebook and texts messages.. i ask him do you talk to girls in a different way that your not souppose to he denys it.. he tells me that he will change and everything but i dont know what to believe from him no more. we had our break and he said that he wanted me back and so i took him back and now well i dont know he has been acting the way he was before.. i need help on what i need to do.. another thing that is keeping me from being with him is that were having twins on the way ;/ … please help on what i can do to save this relationship…
another thing is that he doesnt know how to show respect torwards me family and his always with his addittude .. i give him everything and still yet i dont think his happy with it ..
i need advise
I m engaged. Initially i felt he is interested in me. but now-a-days he is avoiding me with no reason. if i ask him to spend some time with me, he says he cant be close to me. he keeps on hurting me. he texts some other girls. but he hides it from me. i expect my life partner to be close to me. i feel secure with him if he is close and share some personal things. he doesnt spend time with me. he calls me, bt speaks with me not for more than 2 to 3 minutes. Please tell me what to do….. plz
my boyfriend never cl me or msg me. And every time he use to say he was buzy and he will say he dont have balance to call me or msg me. Is he really busy he his life or he dont love.
Okay, my bf and I have been together for several months now and he does all the things stated above, but I still kinda question it. He tells me he loves me and everything at least 5 times a day. And he tells me that the reason he tells me so often is because he doesn’t want to loose me and if he does he wants me to know that he will always love me. I of course think this is really sweet and all, but I still kinda wonder…”Is he just saying this or does he truly love me?” We hangout as often as possible and talk every night. He loves to mess with me in front of his friends and brag about me as much as possible which to me is of course really cute. I love him a lot, but I often find myself doubting the idea that I do. Is it me who is backing out I this relationship? Or is it just because I’m worried he doesn’t feel the same way? Please help! This has been bugging me for quite sometime now and I’m starting to get a little worried.
Hi,
My friend has a boyfriend since Jan 2012. He wants to get married to her. And they have also introduced each other to their families..
But Many a times hes mentioned to her that he keeps checking her Girl friends Pics on social websites.. And that shes looks good or she looks bad.. He keeps commenting on them.. What she fail to understand is Y does he needs to check some other girls pics? When she confronts him about this he says she dosent trust him and hence he dosent want to give her any explanation on the same..
She really dosent know what to do? And shes really worried does he really love her? Or is she really wrong in thinking? Should she go ahead with him or move on in her life?
Pl help..
Regards,
Shwera
So I’ve been dating my boyfriend for almost 4 months now. He’s really great and I’m very happy with him. But we do have our issues. And a lot of the time it’s me becoming upset with him for things such as being rude about the way I drive or being kinda flirty with a girl who he used to like orrr not showing me enough attention. When I talk to him about it he explains himself and I end up feeling a lot better and the issues we’ve discussed have never really resurfaced. But I’m worried because I will bring up these little things when they upset me and when I do sometimes he says that he doesn’t feel like he can be who I want him to be. Like that I’m finding so many things wrong that he feels like maybe I need someone different. I don’t want to chase him away or make him feel like he’s not someone I want to be with. But I want to be able to talk about my feelings without him feeling inadequate or like I demand too much. What should I do?
Frgvn,
I have problems understanding what you have written. You may want to wrote in accepted english spellings
H
Hi Sh,
I you were really important to him, he would make the effort
H
Yinara,
First be honest with yourself and decide if you can live with the uncertainty and insecurity that this relationship creates. If you can’t then it is best to let him go regardless to how much you feel for him. It will not get better it will only get worst unless you are very firm about what you will tolerate
H
Macy,
If his actions are congruent with the words then you have a great man. However if you are having some sort of negative hunch then it may be best to investigate it.
H
I’ve been with my significant other for 3 years now. In the beginning I knew he wasn’t head over heals in love with me but I wasn’t him either. I gave birth to his daughter in June of 2012 and after that he seemed different..for the better! But sometimes I can’t help but wonder his true feelings on me.. He’s very borderline. He snaps quickly and can literally be ok with me then the next hes yelling at me because I can’t find the car keys.. I don’t know if its me or a personality thing.. Sometimes he will buy me flowers or a movie. That’s on occasion. Most of the time I feel he only does nice things to get something in return. And not to mention he always gets upset when I don’t sleep with him. He’s constantly yammering about other women at his work saying hateful things about them then turns around and has the same girl in his phone saved as a DUDES name. I’d like to believe he does love me and obviously I can’t stress enough on a comment to a love website. Im just tired of hurting and wondering if hes with me because he really does love me or if hes just tolerating me and keeping me around as a sex object. Please help 🙁
my boyfriend and i love eachother alot but when were in school he pays 50% attention to me. we talk 24/7 though and he tells me he loves me. then i hug him at school hes happy.
I’ve almost been dating my boyfriend for a year now.
I love him so much more than anything in this universe but I have the feeling he doesn’t. No actually I’m positive he doesn’t, he often tells me he can’t love me as much as I love him; he also told me he can’t give me as much as attention as I give him attention.
It angers me ’cause I don’t want to look weak so we often end in fights where I pretend that I don’t care about him anymore.
Is he mistaking love for friendship?
Hi – – –
I’ve been dating a man since January 7, 2012. I really love him a ton, and have stuck by his side during this whole time. He’s been out of work since I’ve known him, and I’ve tried to support him (looking for work for him, starting a webpage for a business venture he came up with and pay for it, make him dinner, take him out and pay, ask him to spend time with me etc) and mid-October I asked him to move in with me and offered a pretty good deal on rent (cheaper than where he is now) and he didnt give me an answer, he just kinda himmed/hawed about moving twice (Im due to move in June 2013). He didnt offer up any ideas like, well hey, why dont we move in together in January 2013 and skip the moving twice thing or… So, I didnt ask again.
He skipped out on something really important to me recently, and kinda seemed to distance himself; so I confronted him one evening mid-November and asked him point blank where he thought our relationship was at and where it was headed. He couldnt answer my question, his reply was, “Im shocked your asking, I didnt know there was an “issue” etc” and I said, there isnt, I just want to know what your thoughts are, and explained. After this conversation (which was about Nov 10) I figured the towel was pretty much thrown in, and he wasnt interested. He didnt invite me to an Tgiving dinner (I invited him to a brunch and he attended) and ditched me later that evening, as well as another night. I was hurt, and felt very lonely.
During this time (Nov), I got to talking with someone in an online class I take and ended up exchanging personal email, phone numbers and photos of goofy nature at first. I even confided in a friend of mine at the time that I was very frustrated with where I thought my current relationship was going – no where, and wondered if this person I met in my online class who lives across the US, could be “the one” since it didnt seem like my current BF, that I’ve dedicated almost a year too, wanted to be “the one”.
This past Saturday night my BF was over and saw a TM come through my phone from the person in SC, and he proceeded to read each and everyone one of our correspondences, and any other correspondence I had on my phone. The very next afternoon, he hacked my facebook account and saw my conversation with my girlfriend about this person (mentioned above). I saw my facebook had been hacked and found out from the IP who it was, it was him. I figured, okay… That night I didnt want to see him when he asked to come to my place, I told him no that I had a girlfriend of mine coming over, which was true. In anycase, she didnt show up, so I ended up relaxing, talking on the phone with my mom for a few hours and apparently he had sat in driveway waiting to see who showed up, and peeked in my windows and observed me talking on the phone. I didnt know this, but I ended up calling him as I went to bed that night, talking about my friend and I enjoying a glass of wine (to keep with the “story”) and invited him to come over if he wanted to snuggle.
Yesterday afternoon I noticed my facebook account was hacked into again by him, and this time I posted on FB the IP address and said, Hmmmm…I got hacked by IP XX.XXX.XXX and figured it would let him know I knew and that he should come clean. He did that night. He wrote me a letter about a “vision” he had about me being with another man, and told me about all the conversations he read etc., between me and this man in SC. I told him yep, I’d been talking with this man and explained why – that he couldnt tell me where we were headed in our relationship and I felt alone, felt like he hasnt been a boyfriend to me, and I want to move forward in a relationship etc.
I feel bad I’ve hurt his feelings, but I also feel good about having the power to tell him that I want to move forward and not sit around waiting for him to make up his mind. He left, saying he didnt want to break up – – I asked if he was breaking it off, and he just kept walking. I really would like him to step up to the plate and move in, and move forward with me, well, I really WANTED that, and now I dont know because he violated my privacy and has done some really wierd things. Granted I did lie to him, and I did start wondering about another man – -however, I didnt get “sexual” by any means with this man, we discussed class stuff and just goofed off. NO, I didnt tell this other person I was seeing someone… Ugh. Any advice?
Addition:
I probably should add that the relationship has been pretty much one-sided e.g. I feel like I do most everything (initiate sex, initiate dates, make him dinners, take him out, try to make him feel special, sending him job ideas etc) and I have talked with him about how I feel at least two-three times over the course of the year. He’s just kept going on his merry way until he “thought” he was going to lose me, then all of a sudden for a couple days he had done two things for me he said he’d do months back (fix my door & get some stains out of a leather jacket for me) and initiated sex, started telling me I was beautiful and how much he loved me all the while hacking away at my accounts.
As I write this, I wonder if this person is actually playing with a full deck or not?!
Thanks – Sandra
Ive got a son who is nearly 8 months old and i met this guy when my son was 3 weeks old we got together on the 8th of may this year and Ive been the first person who he as had a long relationship with but he keeps saying that if my best friend falls out with her boyfriend and she wants a new one he said he go out with her and go out with me to but every-time he comes over to my house he keeps saying he got this feeling that the relationship want last and when he says that i go all emotional and he says it want happen that’s only have of me that thing that so i don’t know if he love me he only ever said that once to me but he says he misses me but i don’t know if he does or if he saying that keep me happy and my son happy
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year (were both 17) and hasnt even told his parents he has a girfriend yet. I keep vasking him why and he keeps telling me “I dont know I just dont want to cause then my parents will be asking me about it”. I told him what they’d say and he told me “nothing, they would just say to bring you home sometime, but anyways, I dont get why it annoys you so much, it not big deal, I’ll tell my parents someday”. Its been 3 months since he said that. Why doesnt he want to? Is he embarrassed by me or something?