How can you tell if you boyfriend is really into you? Is he playing games, messing around, taking you for a ride or does he really genuinely love you?
Here are 12 ways to tell if your boyfriend really loves you or is “just not into you”:
- He would warmly, admiringly and longingly look into your eyes, face and body from time to time.
- He would go out of his way to do little things to bring a smile on your face and make you feel happy (anything from sticking a note in your bag, buying a funny little toy or turning up on your door steps when you least expect him to).
- He would be always talking about you to his friends and family or anyone who would care to listen. Interestingly he would make you to be larger than life — Gods gift to the earth. These people will mention that they have heard about you when they meet you.
- He would want to introduce you and show you off to his friends, family and the whole world — you would be like his little trophy.
- He would always want to be with you or around you and hardly want to leave when its time for him to go.
- He hates it when people talk negatively about you and would defend you to the point of physically fighting to defend your reputation (hopefully it never comes to this. Don’t always depend on this as a proof of love).
- He avoids hurting you and if he unwittingly hurts you he apologises profusely and attempt never to let it happen again.
- Comments on how lucky he is to get a girl like you in his life.
- Compliments the way you look, the things you do and the skill/talents you display.
- Wants the best for you and encourages you to grow and develop so that you can become the best you can be.
- He is not afraid to challenge you when you are wrong or doing something that isn’t right.
- He calls, text, IM and want to meeting up with you as regularly as he can.
Ps. I just remember a couple more
- He wants know (in direct and discreet ways) what you think about him, how he looks and what he does.
- He seeks your advice and suggestions on things he is doing and decisions he wants to make.
- He takes your advice/suggestions and implements them.
- He is polite to your friends and respects your parents.
Hi Shelby
If a lot of people do not think your relationship with him is good I would definitely reconsider. People may be seeing things that your are not considering because you are in love.
Maybe you may want to postpone moving in with him untill you get some clarity about this relationship
H
Hi Allie,
It seems to me that you know something is just not right with this relationship. You are not getting what you want, you are making most of the efforts and you feel used.
Well can you really live with this? Do you want more? Then you need to clearly share your feelings and take bold steps to do something if this do not change significantly in 6-8 weeks
Remember just giving what he wants won’t really make him love you any more. You need to have clear borders – that will make him respect you
H
Hi Mason,
Going along with something you are not satisfied with is a recipe for failure. Eventually you will be dumped for someone more exciting. Gently and firmly express how you feel and be prepared to do something about it.
H
Shyan
Your desperation and dying love for him may just be your downfall. It seems to be the your intuition is telling you something you do not want to face, however if you do not address it, it will only get worst.
If I were you I will slow things right down. If he asks I would tell I love and want to be with him but I don’t want to be “the other woman”. Show him that even if you love him out of principle you are will to walk away.
H
Go Amber, Be firm but gentle. You have my support. I pray you have a safe delivery
H
Hi. I met my boyfriend online . We haven’t fully met bcuz he lives in England&I live in Ohio. But I wanted to know that even though he says he wants to be with forever. Have a life together,says ily alot and he just is always there for me& always cheers me up . I have alot if medical diseases & I’m so happy I found someone who accepts me,loves me& understands Me&my struggles. So my question is even though we’re far apart how do I figure out if he really loves me and is really committed ?
Hi Jasmine
I understand your need to be loved and accepted as you are. I must say that untill you both meet and get a real grasp of the situation there is no way of telling as virtuall love can easily distorty reality.
H
Hi Jasmine
I understand your need to be loved and accepted as you are. I must say that untill you both meet and get a real grasp of the situation there is no way of telling as virtuall love can easily distort reality.
H
Thank you for sharing this! It’s interesting to see little tidbits of information that can better indicate if your boyfriend really does love you. This list has even further assured me that he must love me, which I consider it a miracle in itself. I love him, because he’s simply brilliant and amazing. He’s so kind and selfless, and an individual who wishes to take care of those he loves. He’s beyond intelligent, handsome, but it’s his heart that’s the most beautiful thing of all. I look at him and wonder why he is with me. We met this year, our freshmen year, and he picked me out while we were all standing in a line, waiting for a school event to start. I love him, very much. I can see myself settling down with this guy, as he’s everything I’ve ever hope for, and more then I’ve ever thought to ask for. I guess I just don’t understand why he feels this way about me. I don’t see it. He is often stunned by the face that I shake my head when he calls me beautiful, and frown and bite my lip when he says I’m amazing. I see a girl, who as average looks at best, of average intelligence, with nothing remotely spectacular or special in any way. Yet he gives me these looks, and it’s like a blind man seeing the light for the first time. I know it’s a weird way to describe it, but it’s the only way I can think to. I guess he must Love me…it’s just a matter of me accepting that.
Hi. I been with my boyfriend about a little over a year. It’s alot of odds stacked against us, due to the age different. He is 12 years older then me (32). It was a issue at first but he eventually ask me to be he’s. It was wonderful at first until, he sent a half naked picture of me to his friend. I found out later but this was before we got together btw I forgave him. Now I feel like he is not there emotional, I have always helped when he was out, but I felt like he can do more when I need him emotionally, its like him first, his family, then me. I always put him first, then I then he think about me. I knw he loves me he tells me all the time he buy’s me roses, chocolates.etc. When I need him most he is not there, when somebody tried to rob me he thought I was lying and said it was my fault. I was hurt to the core, he never ask me if I was alright. Until I called. It has been other situation. I talk to him about it he says he sorry. He stills does it. What should I do.
I have to guys in love with me. One is my ex who keeps cheating and is a coward but wants me every chance I give he messes up. This is a distance and online relationship by the way . Then this other guy is everything above and he loves me. My head says. James the cheaterm h eart says Brett the sweetheart I don’t want to hurt them help please.
Hi Shianne,
It seems that you are have a very great emotional need, maybe more than he realizeor even can handle. If you are expecting more than he is aware, or even more than can give then it may poison the relationship. Maybe you need face your need, find more ways of meeting this need e.g. other friends and family who can empathize with you. Not that you should not expect him to be there for you, however if it becomes too much for him it may scare him off – not what you want. He may need help in understanding how to be there for you when you need him most
Hilton
Cristal
FEEL with your heart but ACT with your head!
H
So me & my Boyfrieend have been making out a lot , and I was wondering if that means love or if he jzt wants me I’m a sexual way ?
Me and my bf almost been together for 2 years and we been thru a lot lik arguing and he said a lot thru these arguments and than says hes sorry he don’t mean it and stuff lim that but wen I say u tlk to a lot of gurls he says no but wen I find out he does specially this one girl I don’t like and he still talks to her im not mad or anything but its just the way he talks to her makes me feel as if he likes her and wen I ask him allthese questions he says no I love you more than anything ur perfect for me and etc but I don’t know to believe it he makes his life plans with me and im not losing feelings but I be honest with him y cant he be honest with me lik I have to find everything out by my self and wen I tlk to him about it he says he do feel guilty but it doesnt seem lik it I don’t know what to do should I jsut keep my distance lik wen we’re together just don’t be as close coz first I was his wife now im just like a friend named konnie that really hurted a lot of things hurt specially comming from the person u love that u don’t even kno loves u back even wen they say it
Hey,
I started to go out with someone that lives in a diffrent country and he is really nice and sweet but he always wants to Skype me, text me or talk to me and that’s good but I would like it if he gave me some space so but I don’t know how to tell him so could you give me some ways to tell him without hurting him??
Plz answer 🙂
my bf an i been toghter 3yrs an we have a lil boy toghter. how do i knw if he really loves loves me. he always want to hang with his boys an he calls me names, we tlk everynite an we dnt live toghter, when were on the phone its babys this baby that wen were with eachother alone its baby this an baby that, but if were with his family or friend its lisa an bad name calln. PLZ HELP ME FIG THIS OUT.
Hi Lani,
Its difficult to say, the best way to prove love is to back off physical expressions and see if your love can survive without it for period of time. Physical intimacy tends to cloud our judgement.
H
Hi Konnie,
I take it that you are married to this person. Marriage advice is very different from girl-friend advice.
My suggestion is to let him know how his actions actually do to you. Tell him that you would like to be more connected but these activities actually make you feel vulnerable. Ask him for suggestions of how you both can move forward together in the relationship and recapture what you had before
H
Emily
You may want to take up a hobby or project and tell him the you will be very busy soon and you will not be as available you use to be. Give him specific dates and times you will be available.
Hope that helps
H
Hi Lisa,
It would be good if you can agree some specific times to address your baby issues with him and another “baby-free” talk time. Also let him know that you are very hurt when he calls you names especially in front of friends and family. Ask him for suggestions to on how you both can change things.
H
ive been with my boyfriend for 5months and ive been frie.ds with him since I was younger I get along very well with his siblings and he just recently lost his mother and father he does all 12 things mentiomed and he constantly lets me know he loves me and he would die if he lost me he tries his hardest to make sure im okayy and worries aboit me all the time and lets me know how he feels and asks me how im feeling does this mean he loves me and wants to spend his life with me ?????
Hi, I’ve been dating a guy who i’ve personally not met. We just chat online. We chated 4 around 1 week, & he realised dat i fell in love with him. Then he askd me whether i lovd him.. but i dint really say d truth.. & said dat i lovd him as a frnd. But he was sure dat i lovd him.. & askd me whether i could date him & eventually i agreed. We spoke on the phone twice.. but have not met each other. As one week passd away… I’ve startd feeling as if he’s loosing interest in me, he doest chat with me until i start. He nvr asks me abt my personal intersts or smthng as such. I’m not really sure, dat he really lovs me or is just dating 4 d sake of me…. PLEASE HELP!!
HI Alex,
Online dating is very tricky and I will not put too much energy or emotion into worrying about this. Rather I will get to know many more people so that I am not stuck on only one individual who may not be exactly right for you especially that you have never met him
H
Brenda,
After all of those things that he is doing a saying what do you think? It certainly doesn’t look like he is playing games.
H
Hi. me and my boyfriend have been together for almost two years. He ia an over the road truck driver and has just told me in the last week that some times he needs his space and cant wait to leave. I got kinda hurt by this seeing as how we hardly ever see each other now(8 days a month). He use to do all those things listed above and slowly one by one has stopped??? I have no idea what happen we were very happy and in love and now this. He hasnt been over the road for long he has only had this job for about four months now. and we got engaged 6 months ago. I thought we were ok but now this. what can i do to get it to were he misses me again and things were like they were???
Kat
Me and my boyfriend been together for 2 years . He tells me he loves me but he doesnt like saying it in front of his parents?:(
i have a boyfriend names kacey and he came over for a birthday party and my dad just randomly yelled at him and he walked out the door now ever time i ask him to come over he says im busy and when he does come over hes always geting messages and when he reads or replys to them he trunes his phone away from me i just fell like ever since that birthday party his been acting diffrent
My boyfriend does mostly all of these things but I still cant tell if he really loves me. He doesn’t like to call me because he cant hear in his house. He told me that he doesn’t want me to meet his mom because shes mean and he cant stand her. I don’t really know if he trust me for real. I know I love him so much and will do anything for him but hes so confusing I don’t understand him.
Kat,
I don’t know of any man who is comfortable doing that!
H
Raecheal,
I understand how you feel. You thought you had a great thing going and now it seems to be going sour. There are lots of reasons for this and sometimes men love in cycles.
One of the ways significant thing you should do is to allow him the space he requires. It may sound frightening however trying to cling on will only make matters worst.
If you want to explore this further do get in touch with me directly so we can get your love back
H
Hi Gabby
Yes if that happened to me it would affect me deeply. You are probably wondering what to do. First you need to speak to your dad and find out what the issue was about. If possible he (your dad) should apologise if he did someone wrong. If that is not possible do tell him (your bf) you are sorry for what happened. Avoid inviting him to places where your dad will be.
If you are looking to really get your love back then feel free to contact me personally
H
Sydnia,
Does sound a bit confusing to me too. To work out if he trying to fob you off, you may want to get to know some of his other friends and family and find out if what he says is true. Of course you will have to be diplomatic in how you go about doing this.
Do contact me directly if you need help with this.
Hilton
So, I’ve been with him for a month; he plays up to each step, except for telling others about us – whenever I ask him if we could somehow inform his friends about us, he always contradicts; he explains, to me, that he does not tell his friends about his relationships anymore as he fears them trying to pull us apart. Is he really telling the truth, or is he simply ashamed of me? I really do find the acknowledgment of me important, as it is, after all, a sign of pride and care…
I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 years now, and sometimes i dont know how to feel about our relationship. He text other females, telling them their beautiful and asking for pictures. He doesnt know i know this and i also know he deletes them all after awhile too!!! But as far as me and him are concerned he does everything and anything for me. But recently since i told him i was still insecure about my body, lately hes been making little comments here and there. Idk.. what do ya’ll think?????
Hi Tasha,
You do not say what is causing you to feel insecure about your body, however I must say that your boyfriend will pick up your insecurities and react to them. As difficult as it seems it is not really his job to make you feel great about yourself. When you feel wonderful about you he will begin to feel equally great about you. In other words you determine how he feels about you.
Would you like to work on a program that will turn all this around so that your boyfriend can respect and admire you again? Contact me privately and lets start immediately help[at]hiltonsamuel.com
Hilton
Goda,
If your boyfriend does everything except this then maybe you need to be patient. Forcing this one issue may just spoil things. If it is so important to you calmly explain how important it is and give him some slack. You may find that if you do not pressure him he will eventually do it.
There are some secret methods to get your boyfriend to do what you would like easily. If you would like to find out do contact me help[at]hiltonsamuel.com
Talk soon
Hilton
h
My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year now live together he seems to do most of those above he has a daughter very cute and adorable by the way but never listens to my opinion on what I think on how to raise her and he’s asked me to help sometimes I feel like I’m the 3rd wheel in our relationship and idk what to do I don’t feel he listens to me when I express myself he says he wants to be able to go out with his friends on his own once in awhile what do u think or what shall I do?
Hi Alejandra,
It’s always a bit difficult when your partner has a child as children would demand attention, time and resources that could be yours. As she is not your child you can only make suggestions but not force your opinions. As for him going out alone with friends, that can be threatening if they are single guys, however you need to give him a bit of space as this is one thing guys are afraid of losing – their freedom.
I do have a detailed program to secure your relationship, if you want to know more about it email me hel[at]hiltonsamuel.com
Talk soon
Hilton
i am with my boyfriend from nearly 2 years. he was used to be the perfect boyfriend, and he was alot into me, like i was his life, but from few time i feel like he don’t love me, he cares for me but not my happines (which he alot used to), he now gets alot (i mean alot) anry, i feel like i only makes him angry now, but he cares for my problems and all that alot.
what can do to bring him back?
My boyfriend is too busy with his extra-curricular activities,friends and sleep..i feel so lonely at times.he texts at 3-4hours interval and sometimes not even that..he says he loves me every now and then.when coaxed,he says he can’t express his love.how do i test him?
Hi Hilton
My boyfriend and I have been best friends for over a decade and partners now for 5 months – living together (didn’t see it coming). I am having trouble understanding him. He has social anxiety, but is way too hard on himself (he’s a good looking guy, and great at talking, joking around). During the course of the day some things come up that need mentioning and he fails to tell me because – like today – a colleague had lunch with him and he couldn’t text because the guy was so talkative. I’m kind of big on being proud of your partner, and putting each other first. He’s explained himself before and said it’s because he doesn’t like the attention and prying into his private life — but sometimes I really feel like he cares more about them, than me. Which is fair because of the social anxiety, but hard on the relationship. How should I deal with this? I feel like he takes me for granted.
Hi
Ive been with my boyfriend for 4 years now and weve been happy until recently. In the past ive caught my boyfriend flirting with other girls via text and have confronted him about it so he has stopped. But because of those actions ive been holding a grudge and use it against him and cant trust him much. I know this is wrong but the problem is theres this girl he hangs out with alot because shes part of his group and they hang out outside of the group too only at her grandmas house where she lives and one time he got so drunk he fell asleep at the edge of her bed and i confronted him about it and told him he cant do that anymore and he hasnt since but still i feel like he doesnt have time for me anymore. He started this new job and she works there too and hes always busy now so i feel like hes with her and his friends more than me now a days. Sometimes he even goes to work with her and the days wen i can hang out he cant and wen he can hang out and i cant hes with her and his friends it so frusterating but i confronted them together and they assured me i have nothing to worry about that he loves me and is always talking about me and he does show me affection in front of her and when were together he doesnt appear to have changed towards me so i dont know if i should be worrying so much and if i should let them be friends????
PS
what really worries me is that one time she told him they shouldnt hang out as much so i wouldnt feel unconfortable cuz she noticed i was being jealous and i can tell it bothered him because he says hes never had any friend tell him that and he cares for all his friends……i dont know that to think please help me ive been going crazy for months now!!!
By the way i forgot they hang out with her friends too which ive never met like going to get togethers and stuff not all the time but once in while when she invites him to hang out and her friends are there and stuff and since my boyfriend doesnt mind meeting new people and is very friendly he just goes with it but sometimes i dont know when this occurs so i told him he needs to start communicating more with me about where he goes and with who……….i dont know if i did right?
Hi Ipshita,
Thanks for your question.
If you would like to get your boyfriend to love and treat you right I suggest you start by not depending on him to fulfill your emotional needs – although that is what you really want.
Start by getting a rich and varied life. Get friends of your own (both male and female), exercise or get involved in sports, become involved in hobbies, volunteer to help others etc.
As weird as that sounds, it will actually show him that you have a life outside of him. You will also become attractive in ways you cannot imagine now.
|By the way here is video of 3 simple ways to get your boyfriend to love you and treat you right
Hilton – helping to get the love you deserve
Debbie,
Living together in a new relationship does take some effort to learn and understand each other. I can see that you like transparency and connection. While this maybe to easy for you others may struggle with it.
The best option is to avoid criticism, frustation and anger. Explain how the action makes you feel, say what you would prefer and remember old habits die hard – he will not change overnight. Be firm but gentle.
Also find things that he does which are good and give him tons of positive reinforcement – Thanks, appreciation, admiration, a kiss/hug etc.
Here is a great resource that may be helpful “how to capture his heart”
If you want some personal relationship coaching send me an email help[at]hiltonsamuel.com
Here’s to helping you get a great relationship
H
Hi Jennifer,
Thanks for commenting.
I fully understand what you are going through, especially if you feel that you are not getting enough time with him. However the answer is not to nag him as this will only make him want to spend less time with you.
I suggest you ask him for idea on how the both of you could spend more time with each other and you may also tell him some of your own ideas and ask him how he feels about them.
If you are comfortable it might be an idea to befriend this girl so that she becomes a friend of the relationship not just his friends only.
Recently I came accross this great resource and would strongly suggest you check it out
How to “Capture his heart and make him want you”
If you want some personal help do get in touch – hel{at}hiltonsamuel.com – Remember to replace the brackets with @
H
Hi Jennifer
Yes it would be good if he is more transparent and even take you along.
H
Hi
I followed your advice and I tried to accept the girl and be friends with her and I even told him how I feel and I only told him that the only thing I find disrespectful is if you sleep over her house and I don’t like it when he lies to me and he said no problem he won’t do it and today I find out he slept over her house after I told him not to and to top it off he lied to me at first when I confronted him and then he admitted it finally. So I told him it can’t go on like this and i felt like he just always goi g to leep lieing to me and I need time apart so I broke up with him. I told him in a nice way but I sounded a little emotional and I said I think it’s better this way and he said he doesn’t want this but if that’s Wut I want it’s ok I guess. So my question is did I do right? What do u think about his reaction? And how do I teach him a lesson so that he’ll want to get back with me and change his ways in case I decide to take him back? Please help me I’ve been crying since it happened and I don’t know how to deal with it I feel like I lost someone very dear to me =(
I loved a boy very much. because he told me that’s he loves me. seems to be good so i fall in love with him. but one day i got a wrong message from him that looks like a love message. He swear that the message sent to his sister. ok fine. but after that i spy on him.. he always using facebook and always chatting with girls and giving his number for them. My one of friend helped me to find out whats going on facebook. he gave me his password and ID and I chatted with my BF through that profile. he told me (the fake profile) that he don’t have a GF and He don’t love anybody. and he gave me (fake profile) his mobile no to call him. he dating and loving with me always telling that I’m his whole world but at the Facebook he is telling every girl that he don’t have a GF. I directly asked him why you doing that with my proofs. he apologies me and said “I’m sorry actually I didn’t love u more but after you left I knew that I love you. so please don’t leave me. give me one chance.” ok fine I gave him another chance. but now i’m afraid to love him. I don’t know whether he cheating me or not. truly loving me or not… what can I do now? is he cheating? this problem makes me crazy/